For the last few months I have been revisiting my use of intuitive eating.
I’ve had what I consider to be kind of a fraught relationship with the concept of intuitive eating because as I’ve figured out I thought my food intuition was broken.
I was finding flaws in almost every way or method I was eating. I was placing a lot of heavy judgements on myself because I did not believe I could/am good at feeding myself in a way that is fulfilling.
One of my issues going in is that when I have strong emotions (stress, joy, feelings) I tend to lose my appetite in a way that makes the idea of eating gross.
I kept feeling like, because I was having a hard time calming down with the judgements and just letting my body do the thing I know it knows how to do, I have been making a serious effort to take my own damn advice and not be so much of an asshole to myself.
As some of y’all might remember I am on a bit of a quest to run past turning 40 in a few years with some shit worked out.
This is part of me working my shit out.
Now I have finally figured out a few things about how my body broadcasts hunger and what I can eat/can’t eat often.
- When I am having a day where I have more general pain (I don’t really want to go into that too deep right now) I tend to want my plain room temp/tepid water in the morning while I get ready.
- I cannot force myself to do breakfast.
- I like something with my coffee. A cookie or pastry etc. Something a bit sweet for my first hour or so at work.
- Generally speaking I like an actual meal sized food between 5-6ish.
- Ideally I get some meat/fish protein in there.
- Snacks are essential.
I have the worst habit of treating myself like the upset parent trying to get a kid to eat a la my favorite Louis C K bit ever. NSFW/KID language.
I get frustrated with myself because I AM that kid that you want to go EAT MOTHER FUCKER YOU WILL DIE.
So, I dial it down and eat. Rather than trying so hard to “correct” my food issues I’m working with them and I ask myself, am I sated? Am I no longer hangry? Okay good. Just eat the food.
Generally speaking my natural inclination leans toward having veg to graze on (not too much because I will poop my brains out, another reason why being a vegan was miserable for me) and tea and water and stuff.
Sometimes if I want some, I eat some candy. Eat some fruit whatever.
Which brings me to food policing.
Actually instead as a little homage to Roxane Gay I want to show you how I make something that might not sate me plain churched up while I am at work.
I picked up an Annie Chun sweet n spicy noodle bowl. Plain these are just meh and are never satisfying to me. Here is how it looked, not pretty but so damn good.
So for my taste I need a bowl like this, a Mrs Dash type seasoning. I use some I got at the dollar store with chips of dehydrated garlic, onion, pepper, basil, celery seed and whatnot. I cook the noodles and drain them then add the sauce that comes with it, my faux Dash, Sriracha and stir. I let it sit.
Then I will buy or use leftovers for protein. Sometimes I grab a packet of tuna or if I’m feeling fancy like today a packet of salmon. Sometimes I use chicken, a few weeks ago I had left over tofu and used that.
I broke up the fish and added it along with some leftover sesame seeds and voila.
Not pictured are the sugar snap peas I’ve been snacking on all day.
While I was at the store, I mostly just grabbed what felt like it would be good and was happy until, some asshole I don’t even know decided to stop and “congratulate” me on my food choices. Except for my safeway brand sparkly water, that got a little bit of a chiding.
My first instinct was to tell this person to fuck off.
I let them finish and then asked if they were buying my food because that is the only way how I feed myself is any of their business.
Here’s the thing.
Regardless of how passionate you are about your food, your food politics, your food ethics, your food needs- you are not the boss of people who need to eat.
You don’t know what my or anyone else’s dietary needs or desires are so keep your shit mout shut.
If someone broaches the topic with you, go nuts.
Share recipes whatever but don’t just walk up to random people with that shit it’s rude.
It doesn’t matter if the person is the fattest fat person you have ever seen in public or if they are the thinnest.
I know that some people do this out of concern, or what they think is concern and interrupting the daily life of another person to let them know you don’t like how they eat/walk/dress is not concern. It is acting like an entitled jerk so don’t.
If what you care about is food justice, that means you’re down for people who eat junk food as well as those who eat other ways. It means you don’t get to tell them what to eat, but fight for their access to fresh food.
If you care about healthy food, the ethics of the food industry etc how you feel on a personal level in your lived life is one thing but you don’t really have the right to impose that on the personal lived lives of other people.
If you want to educate about your particular food issue, the onus of appropriate behavior is on you not the people you are trying to preach to.
I look at it this way.
Dialogue is awesome and can be really enjoyable.
Proselytizing? Not so much.
that’s all for right now.