Fatshions is srs bizness.

So as per usual I've been cruising for hot clothes and saw that Lip Service (whom I loathe and love in equal measure) has a plus size piece. Yes, just one. See that here.

Now I'm not sure if the top to that outfit is available. And also oddly when you click on the name of the line on the left hand side there the skirt is shown in an entirely different colorway and with a different top. On one hand I went YEAH that's better but um...there's no sizing information.

Unfortunately though it seems like despite the many requests for extended sizing the majority of lines do not go up to XXL even. Disappointing per usual.

So it goes no?

In other fatshion news.

My first attempt at craftacular awesomeness resulted in throwing of yarn and needle across the bed and a mini snit. I've been trying to crochet a hat and not done well.

Luckily I have a metric crapton of yarn around from the couple of blankies I made myself awhile back so I can make mistakes but shit sake man. How frustrating.

I have entirely forgotten just how easily thwarted by my own frustration I can be.

So right o.

My next order of business will be a duct tape dummy, then Uniballer and I reconfiguring the apartment so I can put my sewing machine in a corner.

However due to some technological fuckery going on (I lost my cellphone and need to replace it, his power supply died) I might stick to recons for another month or so.

It's strange I think I have the memory of the how of this part, but the go ahead and do it is lacking.

Luckily however I have a stock pile of free patterns and how-to's bookmarked for the using.

This is part and parcel of what I call my own creative avarice.

Creatively speaking I have these terrible and deeply (upsetting sometimes) wants to create things. I have these ideas I am unable to get out because I don't always have the technical know how. I have been this way since I was a little kid and sometimes it's incredibly overwhelming.

And it's that overwhemled OMG I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS feeling that stops me most often. However, I am currently refusing to give into my own feelings of doom.

For my whole life I've wanted to paint, dance, sing, play the piano, make beautiful clothes, paint furniture, recon trash into treasure, make beautiful websites, take pictures and on and on. I am finally embracing the fact that my desire while a beautiful thing doesn't mean I can or should do all these things.

I am learning to channel that avarice into things that are worthwhile and that make me happy.

Occasionally I give myself a bit of cognitive dissonance trying to reconcile all this lust, yes it's red hot pulsating lusty avarice, into something like a steam engine.

Sometimes it works.

Other times not so much.

Okay I think I'm fairly spent.

My feminist friend, your turn for advice tomorrow I swear barring other technological fuck ups this week.

Also Uh.

Shit I forgot so nevermind.

I'm going to go write some vampire themed porno and listen to some awesome music.

Homo Out.

Tags: annoyed fat girl

Stumble It!

Remembering the precious and sacred.

As I'm approaching my 32nd birthday (March 16 for you folks shopping playing along) I have some plans.

Aside from my previously mentioned return to craftacular awesomeness. (That is currently in the form of crocheting myself an awesome hat, it was too cold in my apartment, cold=stiff back, to move my sewing area) and I've got some clothes stuff tucked away.

I am also trying to do a few things more diligently.

Chief among those things are remembering the things that are precious to me. And remembering to appreciate and love the things I find sacred.

What are those things? I don't feel like sharing right now because they are private.

However I will say that part of this involves loving and taking better care of myself.

This includes a shit ton of things I am not going to list but a huge part of it is that, I tend to forget that I have to take care of this body even if it's temporary and doesn't always perform to my liking.

I forget to honor myself.

I also maybe because I do seriously and deeply care about a lot of things, tend to let myself get worked up and into a state over things that I can do nothing about. I am going to work hard on that because it's not worth the hike in blood pressure.

Another thing I am working on personally is my ability to fuel my own joy.

WHen things are hard in my life, or I am really stressed out I tend to bring it all in. I reel everything in tightly and forget to laugh or smile. I forget that sometimes it takes an effort to feel joyful. That despite whatever hardship I happen to be having at that moment, it will pass and I will make it through.

After almost 32 years on the planet if there is one thing I know I can do it's survive.

And dear self, yes we know survival is in your toplist of shit you can do. How about working on surviving and having a good life?

All that said this is a time of hard work for me. I have things that are very serious to deal with and at the same time I have to do some fixing on a personal and spiritual level. It's important to me.

I need to remember how to advocate for myself in my personal private life. I tend to not be able to do that as well as I want to.

I think I may be in for a bumpy road. I will probably fall down and freak out but I am determined to create a sacred and beautiful place for myself.

I know this is all kind of out there in the ether.

So right o.

To give myself an official beginning because I love that sort of thing. Tonight I am going to work on rearranging my computer area to be conducive to dancing. Belly dancing naturally. I am not going to be mad that I am back to trying to get through Amira's 101. And I am going to be nice to myself about it.

Note to self, also get a new sports bra and some yoga pants type things.

So my darling readers, how are you going to honor and love yourselves?

Also, my dear feminist homie, I have not forgotten about you but have been ruminating on your question and will answer this week.

Homo Out.

Tags: annoyed fat girl

Stumble It!

Super Fatty Powers..activate.

I spent a good long while perusing some clothes today and several things come to mind.

Why is so much shit so fucking overpriced?

How do resell clothes in good conscious when they overprice them?

Why the fuck would I pay retail for something currently available from the original retailer, on Ebay?

I am an annoyed angry fatty.

I am also poor.

So.

I have decided to make with the clothing recons and trying to seriously sew. I am more than tired of seeing the promise of awesome plus size goth gear, and finding yeah no it's the same old full length shapeless, dress that was in style in the 90's.

Or worse the only thing goth about it is it might have some black on it somewhere.

Fuck it.

I am also highly inspired by this hotness right here. CraftyDame is mother fucking awesome.

I would like to regain my crafty awesomeness. I used to make a large proportion of my own clothes but got busy somewhere along the way.

So I am making that my sole absolute New Years Resolution.

Goddamn it.

So after I get started on a couple of simple hand sew things this weekend. Next week after I get paid I will be needing supplies for making a duct tape dummy who I will probably name. I will also need Uniballer to help me move shit in our apartment around so I have workspace.

Then SEW.

So there we have it.

I would really like to work up to making 80% of my wardrobe. And be able to recon whatever I wanna.

So fair warning I'm sure my first few attempts are probably going to be kinda fug. I know this and can deal with it.

In other news.

I am less freaked out today than I was yesterday. I did some research and checking and thus far my identity is intact. And I will be straight up and tell you that when it comes to money, things like that happening can seriously make me flip my shit. There are a lot of things I can take in stride, that while shit is blowing up in my face I can deal with but financial matters and BOOM there I go freaking.

Uh.

So right, I'm calmer. Have a plan of attack in place. Said plan does allow for me to have some nice things when I want them so that's good.

This is a fine example of when I seriously need to be less of an asshole to myself. I need to take a breath. Not go all aggro on myself.

I forget now what else I was going to say. Uniballer is bringing foods, I have been craving the seafood salad from Safeway like whoa and my mouth is watering because I know it's on the way.

Also damn.

I am totally breaking my want to eat yummy things that don't give me gastric distress. This salad has very rich dressing and I will pay but it is so delicious.

I am also eating marinated mushrooms which will only add to it.

Poor Uniballer. He has to live with me and I am a gassy little bastard.

Uh.

Okay I am spent. I have evil plans to make. Patterns to examine and Craftster to stalk.

Homo out.

Stumble It!