Dood seriously.

Hello Jo and Joy (an aside here I totally sat here sing songing Jo-Joy Jo-Joy to myself for like two minutes).

Now for some news yes? Yes.

So as you may or may not know I am a struggling/wannabe/whining writer type and I have had some fiction publication over the last few years and I am only recently making any serious foray into non fiction. My first paid gig as a um, well non technical amusement comes via the website MeanPC. My second editorial is hot off the press and find that bad boy here. This is a pretty kick ass website for us geek types. There are some great tech heavy reviews of stuff and then you have my silly editorials. My other one is located here. So that is hella exciting. And as an aside, HI Lonnie :)

My thus far shaky and slow writing career has spawned some hot porno, a hot mess of poetry and now some editorials. I have delusions of becoming a fabulous essayist and quite possible the perviest chick you know. Although that second one, I am probably 65% of the way there.

Yes, my friends I am a pervert. I like really very dirty and probably to some people gross things. Yes I do.

So that's what's new and fabulous with me right this instant.

In other news I really want to get my eyebrows done this week. I'm not sure how much it costs though since I usually do them myself but I am craving a little pampering. Or I might just do them myself and save some more $$ for some cosmetic type shiny things.

I really want to try some new mascara although the Maybelline Lash Stylist I've been using is pretty damn good. I was skeptical of the little comb thing at first but once I got the hang of it it's actually pretty good.

I really want something that'll give me the huge spidery lash I love so much.

I've been thinking about making Uniballer teach me how to use my digicam for video so I can make some youtube make up videos. Several friends have told me I should and I think it would be fun since um yeah HI I watch a shitload of them so I might as well make some.

I also need to make a list of what make up brushes I need. Probably should stock up on those before I go eyeshadow crazy again. I am also going to have to get a bigger train case at this rate.

Ye Gods my hobbies are freaking expensive. Even with my uber bargain shopping abilities some things I will just have to pay full price for and that chaps my ass.

Okay I'm done for today I have things to do. First I have to make a list of all the supplies I need to take care of my hair for the summer since I still can't braid my own goddamn hair.

Homo Out.

Stumble It!

Fat Musings.

Even though my feed doesn't appear to work with the Fatosphere feed anymore I still read it regularly and have been having some you guessed it musings.

First on the whole no diet talk issue. Granted everybodys blog is their own sandbox and you can make whatever rules you want. But this persistent idea that one must keep diet talk, weight loss talk etc out of fat acceptance entirely still chafes me.

As I understand it, the assumption is that you cannot love you body and still want to change it. I don't subscribe to that particular view point. I was going to link some things but I don't feel like it. Anyway, my thought is that I do believe that you can love and accept yourself entirely and want to change a few things.

The main problem I have with this dogmatic do not speak of this mentality is that it ignores a lot of what the people who are coming to FA, and what people who might be interested, and let's be honest a good segment of the population of FA. I know this is not a popular or "radical" (I'll get to that in a bit) idea however I do think it's not helping the cause.

Let's say you are very fat and you've come to a place where you dig your body, you feel good about yourself, you have shed the the majority of the bullshit heaped on you by peers and probably family. You are doing pretty fucking good. Maybe you're getting a little older, maybe your diet changes whatever you gain some weight. Let's say 20 pounds.

Okay you got your character? Good.

So now imagine you are this fat self loving person who has chronic osteoarthritis or you have a bad back, maybe an ankle you broke when you were 12 that hasn't been right since. Let's also pretend that you aren't quite brand new to FA circles but you're not really all in there. You don't really have anyone to talk to about this aside from maybe your doctor whom you're not ready to discuss this with yet.

You think maybe you can talk to your new FA homies about the fact that this last 20 pounds has just got you hurting.

So you start reading around the Fatosphere and all the big name (and let's not pretend there's not a hierarchy here people) and they all tell you, you can't talk about it there, or with them.

How do you feel?

Maybe it doesn't sour you on FA but maybe it makes you more hesitant to participate because all the prevailing dogma says you cannot want to lose weight at any time for any reason and no it's not to be discussed.

I don't know about the fat people you know, but a lot of the fat people I know are coming from lives where they have been thrown to the wolves as it were, and I would venture to guess that some of these souls are squirming in their seats because they want to comment and say, no wait but I would be too many are afraid.

What's there to be afraid of you ask?

You could get flamed, you could get ostracized, you could get that ever so wonderful "Let me educate you and cleanse you of your wicked ways" type condescension.

I don't think this is helpful. I think cutting off discussion because it doesn't suit your particular political flavor is just, not helpful.

Next thing I worry about is the constant rehashing without any sort of consensus or even understanding of a few issues. Namely, who's fat? What's "good" for fatties to do or not do. Sometimes it feels like FA gets bogged down in questions that really come down to things that a political movement cannot change.

Things like autonomy and the bogeyman of choice. FA like so many other body oriented movements I have been familiar with shit starts to happen. Someone decides that what someone else said was bad, there's butthurt, there's the person who may publicly or privately say something that doesn't toe the party line and all hell breaks loose.

It's not exclusive to FA nor is it a new thing but it is something I think about.

Moving onto that interview I linked the other day with author/blogger PastaQueen became such a fucking trainwreck.

I don't even want to link it because way too many people took off their sanity hats and put on their frothing at the mouth and being dicks hats.

Next topic: Being Inclusive.

The free dictionary says that inclusive means literally-

Adjective
1. including everything: capital inclusive of profit
2. including the limits specified: Monday to Friday inclusive
3. comprehensive

Any movement including FA tends to sometimes run around in circles trying to figure out the whole inclusive thing. Who gets to play? Who gets shown the door?

Often my issue with any movement is that unless you look like someone who should be there often you're shunted into the dubious position of advocate. In and of itself that's not bad but, I think it'd behoove any movement to say oh HAY you agree with us? Come kick it.

Not, well you're not (insert adjective here) but you can say you support us kthnks bai.

Call me a dirty hippy but I think the road to salvation is paved with inclusive cobblestones rather than cobblestones for us and gravel for you.

I believe this because no matter what your movement is, you have to share the world with a shitload of people who are way different than you. They are white, they are thin, they are from other countries they are from entirely different worlds than yours. No matter how "safe" your individual space might be, they are still out there and at some point unless you have some super secret to life, you are going to have to interact with them.

So instead of coming at the world like you're my enemy and fuck you, why not say hey check this out. This is what I am into right now, and I know this isn't your world but (insert interesting social discourse then hippy laden hugging here).

To quote Mo Pie's entry on BFD "10 Ways to be a Body Positive Advocate"

Understand that a lot of people are hateful morons, and they don’t reflect on you, and they shouldn’t affect you.

You should go read that whole entry.

But that bit is especially relevant here. And I will add that maybe the person who is the moron, on sight you might think YEAH we have this in common so this will rock. That is not so. Support and understanding can come from unexpected corners and frankly I think it's dumb to not see it or look for it because you haven't yet worked out your own prejudices.

At some point any movement needs to recognize that dividing on the basis of things that are in the big picture not that big a deal.

We're all going to have to pull up our big girl panties and put our hard hats on because the world is a crazy rough place and we can use all the armor we can get.

And if none of this made any fucking sense it's because I'm really tired and have a toothache.

Homo Out.

Tags: annoyed fat girl, fat, body, politics

Stumble It!

So true.

More reasons to love Jill Scott-



Sometimes when you are a big titty having type, no matter how well your bra fits by the end of the day you're done. I'm not sure how I feel about the back of that bra but it's always nice to see somebody making some changes.

I had a big serious post about the interview with PastaQueen over at BFD but I'm really not in the mood. It's shit I've said before. I used to read her journal for awhile, I'm not buying the book and I'm quite frankly not very interested in anything she has to say.

I am really seriously over the whole weight loss as the super road to personal transformation. I really am.

I'm also tired of having to explain over and over what FA is.

If someone seriously thinks that any civil rights movement is all about "making" them do something than fuck em. These are the same fuckers who will whine about being "made" to do this or that and they are so wrapped up in their own little world of entitlement the idea that people just want to be treated like human beings and not fucked with for whatever reason, fuck em.

Fuck em. Fuck em. FUCK THEM.

Right in the goat ass.

I am over it.

Listen people, pull up your big girl panties and put on your hardhats and fucking deal.

Stop demonizing people and deal with your own bullshit.

In other news. I am almost ready to move to the next gauge in my earholes. 12 Gauge here I come.

In yet more good news I am still putting together my Amazon Astore.

Truth is folks I have long dreamed of owning a beauty supply store. And since I don' really have the time, energy or resources to have a real one I'm going to put all my stuff in a silly associate store. Nothing I am picking for this store is stuff I wouldn't use myself.

Because there is a limit to how many products per store you can feature I might make separate ones for my hair/beauty supply type stuff and another for everything else.

Hrm. Not sure yet.

And my hair bling, let me show you it.



Again I say, my hair is LUXURIOUS.

And I love henna.

To read all about the fabulosity that is my hair read my hair journal located here.

Now I am going to put together my hair care list so i can keep myself in supplies for the summer.

And I am going to try not to stab myself in the sciatic nerve.

Homo Out.

Tags: annoyed fat girl, announcements, boobs

Stumble It!