Thinky Thinky.

Before I go thinky some links.

Lindsay has updated her awesome resources see that here.

Also the super fabulous Stacy Bias has a new project going check it.

The new project is called "The Fat Experience Project." and you can view it here:

http://thefatexperience.com



The goal of the Fat Experience Project is to map the global experience of fat in a way that is human, has a face, a heart, a mind, a body and a voice. The Fat Experience Project is an oral, visual and written history project which seeks to be a humanizing force in body image activism. By collecting and sharing the many and varied stories of individuals of size, the Fat Experience Project seeks to engage with, educate, empower and enrich the lives of people of size, our allies and the world at large.

As the project grows, it will be filled with first-person, non-fiction narratives (in text, video or mp3 format) that speak to the many and varied aspects of the life lived large. Some of the content will come from interviews already gathered on an extensive 2-month road trip (with the lovely Val Garrison) in both audio and video format. Some content will come from trips on the horizon. Most content will be submitted via the website by readers such as yourself.

It is my hope that the project will be a community tool to combat prejudice/stereotype/discrimination as well as to help externalize shame so it can discussed and dissipated. The things we keep silent about are the things that do us the most harm. Shared burden is lighter. I am hoping, as well, that the project may eventually be used as a humanizing resource for fat studies and social anthropology courses.

I am writing to ask for your help in both the promotion of and the participation in this project. It is my fondest hope that, ultimately, with time and resources, this project will grow beyond a specific and exclusive fat focus and move toward addressing the many intersections of shame.

In the meantime, I would love your help in the form of passing this along to your blog readers/mailing lists/friends/family/anyone you feel may benefit from hearing about this project.

I also welcome comments, constructive criticism and volunteers.

Thanks for your time and energy!
Big BIG love,

Stacy Bias
http://thefatexperience.com
http://www.stacybias.net

Aweeeeeeeeeeesome.

Okay now thinky. This post by Kate Harding got me thinking.

A wee quote from the end of that post:

For all the empty talk about being concerned for our health, there sure are a lot of medical professionals out there who simply don’t want to do their jobs when it comes to fat patients.

I've been ruminating about some of my experiences with the medical community and re-examining some of those experiences in a new light.

There was a time that I took anything doctors told me as the gospel god awful truth. Being that they went to med school for a gazillion years, I thought they would both know what they were talking about and have that mythical bedside manner.

I remember when I was working out obsessively for hours a day and I hurt myself I went to the doctor who congratulated me on my dedication. Looking back I have t wonder why the doctor wasn't at all concerned about my stated 3 hour workouts six days a week and horrible eating habits. Why?

I was thin but not quite that thin you know what I mean. Outwardly to look at me I was in pretty damn good shape, I was within the acceptable parameters as far as weight go but that doctor never once asked me or even really checked on my rapid weight loss and very clear obsession with the exercise.

I did a lot of damage to myself with the doctors approval and fucking kudos. Looking back I really wish it hadn't taken this female bodybuilder to pull me aside and get me to see what I was doing to myself. Where was my doctor?

Also where was the appropriate concern from doctors or other medical personnel with whom I was entirely open about what I was doing.

At one point someone in my docs office even commented that I was "almost there".

When I finally came to my goddamn senses everyone there was suddenly ever so concerned about the fact that I was gaining weight. No one commented on how my daily pain levels were better. Or about how I had stopped being dizzy and light headed midday.

No, I was told to be careful or I would wind up fat.

Yeah.

At this stage in life I find it unutterably fucking horrible that a professional medical type person would not express concern over what is clearly not good. That said, I also find it fucking horrible when professional medical people look at you adn say, "Yer fat and yer gonna DIE".

In an ideal situation the convo would go like this:

Doc- You're overweight. Would you like help losing some weight?
Me- No thanks I'm good.
Doc- Okay now turn your head and cough.

I don't have balls but you get my meaning here.

I would like to see more doctors who can acknowledge that you might know what's good for you and what will make your life good. I don't think that is too much to ask.

And gods but I'm spent. Uniballer is bringing Thai food and right now I am going to work on some more articles.

I think after I conclude my series on online activism for beginners I might do some um...yeah. Not sure.

Anyway.

Again I know but find my articles here.

Goodnight.

Homo Out.

Tags: annoyed fat girl, announcements

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So true.

More reasons to love Jill Scott-



Sometimes when you are a big titty having type, no matter how well your bra fits by the end of the day you're done. I'm not sure how I feel about the back of that bra but it's always nice to see somebody making some changes.

I had a big serious post about the interview with PastaQueen over at BFD but I'm really not in the mood. It's shit I've said before. I used to read her journal for awhile, I'm not buying the book and I'm quite frankly not very interested in anything she has to say.

I am really seriously over the whole weight loss as the super road to personal transformation. I really am.

I'm also tired of having to explain over and over what FA is.

If someone seriously thinks that any civil rights movement is all about "making" them do something than fuck em. These are the same fuckers who will whine about being "made" to do this or that and they are so wrapped up in their own little world of entitlement the idea that people just want to be treated like human beings and not fucked with for whatever reason, fuck em.

Fuck em. Fuck em. FUCK THEM.

Right in the goat ass.

I am over it.

Listen people, pull up your big girl panties and put on your hardhats and fucking deal.

Stop demonizing people and deal with your own bullshit.

In other news. I am almost ready to move to the next gauge in my earholes. 12 Gauge here I come.

In yet more good news I am still putting together my Amazon Astore.

Truth is folks I have long dreamed of owning a beauty supply store. And since I don' really have the time, energy or resources to have a real one I'm going to put all my stuff in a silly associate store. Nothing I am picking for this store is stuff I wouldn't use myself.

Because there is a limit to how many products per store you can feature I might make separate ones for my hair/beauty supply type stuff and another for everything else.

Hrm. Not sure yet.

And my hair bling, let me show you it.



Again I say, my hair is LUXURIOUS.

And I love henna.

To read all about the fabulosity that is my hair read my hair journal located here.

Now I am going to put together my hair care list so i can keep myself in supplies for the summer.

And I am going to try not to stab myself in the sciatic nerve.

Homo Out.

Tags: annoyed fat girl, announcements, boobs

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Found things and maybe a reintroductin.

All right i'll start off with some things that caught my eye in my Google Feed reader today.

First up via Racialicious I found the art of Kimiko Yoshida. I highly suggest you go have a look at her self portraiture. I find that incredibly inspiring.

I have a very deep love of and interest in the art of self portraiture. I believe that a photo taken of oneself has the ability to peel back something that can't always be done when someone else is holding the camera. I really love it and part of my whole want to learn how to take photographs is because of this project that's been living in my head since I was a kid. For more neat-o type photos check out the Self Portrait Live Journal Community.

Okay now for some reintroductions because some of you are new and a lot of you are cruising in.

First of all I'm Shannon. 30 years old. Human black female. When coming here you can expect sex, make up, beauty, talk about fatness, my daily life, rantings ravings and language that probably makes some people cringe.

I have few rules here. Number one being don't think you can come in and change my feelings, opinions or life by making a statement or comment.

If you want to comment I encourage it. It you wanna troll try to hurt my feelings and for the love of all things cute and fluffy spell every word right or I will ridicule you.

I like to talk about things that catch my eye. Whether it's from the Fatosphere (which I seem to have fallen out of) or anywhere else on the intertubes. Sometimes I talk about sex. I talk about boobs. I talk about porn.

I am an author however, this place is not where I showcase my mad skills. So if that's what you're expecting you can give that one up.

Um.

Let's see.

I'm not always nice. Matter of fact I'll tell you right off that people being stupid brings out the mean.

Feel free to ask questions. Lurk. Wank. Do what you like.

I think that's all as far as intros go.

Now in news of the absurd I put neon pink french tip style color on my nails last night. I am so goth it hurts. Black nails with pink tips. Or does that make me emo? I have no idea it's silly but amusing. Tonight I will be painting my toenails this violent neon pink.

What else?

Oh the jury is still out on the Milk of Magnesia as a mattifier experiment. I did notice in a few spots I must not have waited long enough for it to dry because my powder looked weirdly gummy for a quick minute. Easily fixed with a tissue but still. I am STILL ass over tea kettle in love with my MSF in Shimpagne. I used it as an eyeshadow today and the look is very nice.

Very neutral and sparkly I even put on blush although I need to practice that I haven't worn blush on the regular in years and years.

What else?

Oh clothes. Can we discuss clothes for a hot minute?

I've been really good about not buying things because of my "OH SHINY" Crow reaction to something. It's been difficult because I LOVE the OH SHINY. However. I am thinking that maybe at least one or two things merit getting bought because of my OH SHINY reaction.

My list of OH SHINY let me show you it:

This Lip Service Top. Let me admit right now I really should be breaking up with Lip Service. They are not down with the fat girls despite what they've said to the contrary. How do I know this?

After a Rah rah type "we love big asses too" response in a Lip Service community from one of their employees I have been waiting with booty aquiver for their promised greater selection of things in XL-XXL. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. And fucking denied.

It seems to me that lines that are made of super stretchy materials would be the first to rock some XXL hotness. Not so. Not even the classic staple of a fishnet shirt is done in XXL. So ixnay on the Fascist Fishnet. Which is sad because that's been one of my favorite lines for fucking years.

Next up Punk N Disorderly. Another one of my fo' sheezy favorite lines. One item out of fucking like 10 is available in an XXL and good luck trying to find a vendor that stocks them. Further more of course it isn't even the ONE garment that would be amazingly easy to make in an XXL but one of their bustiers. Which by the way, big titties+big shoulders=that shit ain't gonna fit.

The XXL lass or cross dressing laddie fares a little bit better with the Gangsta Pranksta line but not much. Especially when it comes to bottoms (capri's and pants especially) the fact is those are not made for those with some ham to jam nor for the bodacious booty having. Sad. Especially because honestly, a lot of this style would look SMOKING hot on someone with any of the aforementioned fleshy bits.

DeadBeat Daggers line? Total bust. Again super stretchy material, very easy to sneak in some bigger sizing and nil.

So I'm skipping the rest of the Spring collection because frankly I'm pissed off. Over the last say fifteen years or so I have spent loads of dollars on Lip Service. And it just turns my crank to know that yeah, I'm fat and fuck me running I can't get a fucking break with these people. Oh if you want to have a look at what I'm talking about look at Redemption Klothing's catalog link here.

Also when did Lip Service stop or get so slow making stuff for Torrid? They had some hot HOT shit for Torrid and i can't find it anymore. Also Lippy for Hot Topic is a sort of meh consolation. If you're an inbetweenie like me depending on how you're put together you may or may not be able to jam your ham into HT Lippy XXL. Sometimes I can (skirts) sometimes I can't (dresses). It irritates my ham.

All that said, I still honestly fucking love a lot of their designs and it's difficult.

While we're on the subject of rocking clothes I must say that Heavy Red and I won't even start to see each other.

Back when I was quite a bit thinner I saved up money and purchased myself something or other from Heavy Red. I remember the shipping alone cost my left ovary. I recall being so amazingly disappointed. Their clothing photographs beautifully. However in person the fabric wasn't nearly as luxe as it appeared and the fit was atrocious. The fit by their measurements should've worked fine but the cut was horrific. Absolutely cut for someone tall willowy with no ass or hips.

Clearly, not me.

Now in the last few months I've been again perusing Heavy Red, their sizing has started to become more generous. And they have a few things that I just love however, I can't bring myself to pay so much for something that may be a total disappointment. I've read in quite a few goth type forums/communities that a lot of people have been disappointed with the quality of their garments. And I do not want.

I've also noticed quite a few goth online stores have added "plus" sized sections and the mark ups are insane. Or their entirely super special plus size section is two tops and a skirt. I do not approve.

Thus I have been very careful and considerate of where I spent my money.

So where is all this leading?

This is all leading me to my sewing machine. Quire simply I cannot see paying 78-80 dollars for something simply because a.) my waist is a couple of inches bigger than what's considered a L or XL. b.)Because goddamn it I am not paying 60$ for a cotton circle skirt. Prices are out of hand and I'm over it.

I know I know, but Shannon what about the OH SHINY.

I think this skirt is my OH SHINY right now. I think that is cute and I could rock that with a black tank and either my Chuck's or other shoes. Cute cute cute. yes it's a little absurd and I don't care.

I think I'm spent. It's time for tea and I think I might have to cruise the ebay for patterns and some cute tights/leggings to wear with the vintage dress I just won on the Ebay.

That's it folks.

Homo Out.

Tags: announcements, fat fashion, annoyed fat girl

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It puts the lotion on it's skin...

You can totally blame Uniballer for this one.

The Lotion Song!!!
Uploaded by phillyblacklite

Now that you all will be singing that all fucking night like I am I feel better.

Ok a few things. Any of you big booty(Big booby, all round big) girls and boys who love the look of Lip Service but can't find it in your size since their sizing has gone super wonk, check out this entry in the Lippy Addicts LJ community and tell them. Big people REPRESENT!

Also for some good reading check out this blog. I found it after um, shit I don't know HOW I found it I just did. There is an entry (I commented on it) that is a response to that piece of shit piece the NYT ran about how nerdiness is whiteness. Or rather "hyperwhiteness" as they termed it. I read that piece when it ran but was so irritated I couldn't even respond.

Hrm what else.

OH I got my box o surprise clothes from Good Goth and I am mostly happy. I got a burgundy shirt of some sort that has shiny things on it. And a cheongasm dress. I am a little worried about that fitting it didn't look big enough when I took it out of the box

If it doesn't fit I am very tempted to take it apart and make myself some sort of fabulous fetish outfit and then make Uniballer take me out so I can look hot.

I'm thinking of shiny bits and lacing. I got distracted thinking about that.

Now let's talk about make up because I had mad money saved and got myself some excellent products.

First thing I got was a L'Oreal HIP cream liner in Eggplant. And I'm guessing it got discontinued which is why I can't find it anywhere. Anyhow I got it on ebay and the color is fantastic. Just enough shimmer and bonus it actually lasted all day on my lids yesterday with no primer. Which is a feat in and of itself. goes on smoothly and is just lovely.

Hrm that's annoying. Moving on.

I also picked up an Avon Mark lip stain in >Berry Bitten. I have been on the hunt for a good lipstain that wasn't too light because I have brown lips. This one absolutely fit the bill. Every review I read said it stained way darker than it showed to and BINGO. I will probably pick up the red shade too. It doesn't quite have the lasting power I was looking for. About 6 hours with lip balm over it But the color is gorgeous deep berry and looks amazing against my skin.

And my super made of win find is a Glitter Liner by Urban Decay which I have been fantasizing about for MONTHS I got one for 10 bucks shipped bitches. You people don't even know how much I have wanted one but haven't been able to afford it.

It's on the way.

You guys have no idea what kind of make up slut I am. No idea.

I should be stopped.

Speaking of make up I didn't do anything special today because it was fucking hot in my apartment and I was sweating. So I'm just wearing a wash of bright pink eye shadow and a buttload of mascara.

My make up tip for the day. If you are a huge eyelash lover like myself use the Maybelline XXL white coat, with a higher end mascara and BAM LASHES. Currently I'm doing that with Benefit's Bad Gal mascara but I'll be looking for a new one to try soon.

Most likely it'll be a toss up between Too Faced Lash InjectionSk or maybe Urban Decay skyscraper mascara.

Clearly, I'm not into natural over here and I really don't care to be lectured about it kthnks.

And one more tip for some awesome tutorials I found while cruising Google awhile back. Go to LimeCrime then click the strawberries in the left hand corner, then click the tutorials link. Fabulous lovely make up.

I really love the Doll Parts Tutorials.

I still need some other things for my make up wardrobe. I need more glitter. A good chubby black eyeliner. WTF why is a good one so hard to find these days? It has to go on soft, not waxy and stay fucking black. What the hell man?

I also need some blush. I also think I am going to buy some Matter the Better from Avon Mark. Or something else. I am determined to look flawless all Fall and Winter goddamn it.

I think that's about all for now. I am going to make some tea and whatnot.

Homo Out.

Tags: announcements, hotness, make up

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Very amused.

Another tidbit.

I am so in lust with this Lip Service outfit it's just not funny.

Also I totally forgot to mention that I have new content up at Associated Content. WOOT.

You can find all my articles here. My HAES/Size acceptance article on reading it again I don't think is all that good but my other articles are KICK ASS.

Also I have banana chips and they are delicious.

I may or may not wind up buying this fucking Lip Service outfit so I will stfu about it.

Tags: links random, announcements

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