How the Homo Thing Started.

Okay so if you've been reading me for a long time or just wandered here you've noticed I tend to sign off my posts like so:

Homo Out.

So I had this gay boyfriend and he and I were like, um. Not quite Will and Grace, think more gay, more liquor and more glitter.

One Saturday he and I were all gothed up together and on our way out for the evening, and we were looking hot. Hot enough that we had to stop at a bar by his place prior to our Gothtastic destination.

While at that bar we got a little toasty drunk and were doing some very dirty dancing, some smooching on the dancefloor then while we were waiting outside with some very hot other gay boys, I twirled and put my tiara on. Demanded to be called Princess.

One of the other gay boys stopped mid sentence and pointed at me and said-

"You are SUCH a homo."

We all laughed and since many people call me homo and I gracefully accept.

So that's where that comes from.

Now I'm going to Denny's and I'm having pie for dinner because I can.

Tags: homo

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Stuck in the Middle with you.

No, I'm not about to start singing that song to you. However I just read a really excellent entry by the lovely Ms. Kate Harding (go read it I'll wait here it'll even open in a new window for you). I really appreciate reading things like that.

What about my own experiences? My experience as a fat person has varied in many ways over the years. That was yesterday, go read her post today about dieting and go read the lovely Ms. Rotund too,. Done ok come back.

Personally I do not at this point in time have a political inclination one way or the other about weight loss. Aesthetically I do sometimes get sad when I see someone who loses a bunch of weight and (to me) looks unhappy or unhealthy.

What about me personally?

Well I suppose it all depends on how I put it doesn't it? If I say something like:

I am changing my eating habits and exercise habits because it makes me feel good inside and out.

That sounds okay doesn't it? Very much following the precepts of HAES and whatnot.

However if I said:

"I'm on a diet trying to lose ten pounds so I'll feel better."

Would people lose their shit and kick me out of the club?

Essentially I'd be saying the same thing. My base desire is the same regardless of how I put it. I think that's why I don't really have an issue with just the word diet. In my head I have stripped the word diet of all the nefarious connotations and rules and whatnot. I understand most people haven't but I have so the issue is a non issue for me.

What is an issue for me however when the why is ignored because someone used the d word. As I have been saying for years now I want my peeps to be happy and healthy. If that means they want to drop four dress sizes, fifty pounds, a hundred pounds whatever that is not my call to make. Nor is it my job to tell them, hey you are absolutely not going to be happy because I don't know that.

From my own experience, sometimes I am actually better smaller. Various reasons of course. Though they are usually joint pain, the clothes I own fitting properly. I am of the mind that yes, if someone gets pathological in their need for weight loss whether they are phrasing it in a HAES friendly way or using the d word I will say something. But it's not my place (or anyone else's for that matter in my opinion) to police someone else's body and vocabulary.

While I'm in a confessional mood I will cop to a few other things that may or may not cause people to like me less.

I am entirely uninterested in manifestos. Honestly I have never ever read one that made my heart go pitterpat and my fist pump in the air (and I've read many). I take serious umbrage at anyone (whether they have good intention or not) speaking for me or pretending to represent me because ya know what? You don't.

I don't care if it's race, weight, womanhood, queerness, right handed left hand masturbators (um sidenote isn't that the plural of masturbator?) whatever. I may or may not be a special and unique snowflake but goddamn it, don't tell me how I am feeling about something. Ask me.

I also still dream (although I have finally just accepted that unless I shoot up roids for years just will not happen) of being Linda Hamilton buff and/or becoming a ladies MMA/UFC stylie ass kicking mother fucker. People always think I am kidding but I am dead serious. I would LOVE to be able to put a serious beating on people. You people don't even know.

Also I would in fact crash diet for a chance to wear this. Because the biggest size would most likely not fit me and if I had someone to wear something like that, I would do it. I won't lie.

I think that's about all I have to get off of my chest right now.

Moving on today I wanna talk about sexy things.

Is it wrong that the Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds song O'Malley's Bar kinda makes me wanna fuck? While we're on the subject of songs that make me wanna fuck let's make a list shall we?

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge. The beat, the lyrics. Makes me wanna do dirty things.

Licking Cream by Skin and Sevendust. Lajon and Skin together=hot fucking sex.

And this lady Ms. Fabulous Beth Hart needs to get it from me while she's singing. Anybody who writhes around like that while singing has GOT to be a beast in the sack. The sound in the video isn't the greatest but youg et the idea.



Seriously people. ZOMG one more. Good LORD her doing this song is fucking sexy. SEXY.



Ok apparently I am feeling super lesbotronic today. So the rest of this entry will be an homage to women I want to do it with while they are singing.

Next up of course, Melissa Etheridge. I'm the Only One. Oh, my LORD. I went to see in concert by myself once and sat in this row of all these hot butches, when she did this song I shit you not I burst into tears. Got smooched and hugged by butches who thought I was very cute. It did nothing for my baby butch street cred but, I did get groped so that makes up for it. I fucking LOVE this woman.

If you haven't guessed already I am an absolute fool for a woman with some big pipes. I can't help it.

If you don't like loud screaming music skip this next one.

Otep. Ye Gods how I love me some Otep. Her voice makes me tingle in my private area.



I also want to do it with Anne Boleyn from Hellion. No I mean right now. No now.

And OMFG Sarah Jezebel Deva, I believe I've mentioned her before. The voice, the eyes good lord she can sing the panties off of me(if I wore any) any damn day she likes.

I also still have a mad girl crush on Lucy the former webmistress of Goths of Colour.

I think that's enough for the day. My back hurts and I need medication and something yummy. I believe the Bartlett pear I have on my desk will do for a start.

Homo Out.

Tags: fat, annoyed fat girl, big girl love, homo

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Bday is arrived.

Thus far birthday is not too bad.

Mainly beacuse Cookie is such a beautiful and wonderful person I am SO thankful to have as a friend. She wrote this thing that blows my mind.

For me.

And um, I am twittering because BoyVenus and GurlVenus have pressies en transit. Which I LOVE.

I am wearing black and red. My eye make up is fabulous even though the black isn't as dark as I'd like it shows more like gunmetal because of my eyeshadow primer.

I got to watch Ugly Bettylast night which is like my favorite fucking show. America is brilliant. That girl could not be ugly is she tried. And I LOVE Mark (Willie's pet fag) so much I want one of my own. Just not so squealy cause yeah, "too gay" (If you don't watch the show you probably don't get the last bit there.)

And Vanessa Williams, such an America's sweetheart type as such an absolute twat I LOVE LOVE LOVE her size 4 ass. She looks fabulous in the role. Although the fluffy hat in the Xmas episode was a little much even for me.

I am listening to NPR and apparently there are 10 tons of dog poop produced in America in a year. Wow.

And a thing in SF where someone is trying to use dog poop as fuel. I'm all about it. Dinosaur remnants won't last for motherfucking ever no matter how many brown people our president deems it necessary to conquer.

Charles Barkley advocates for gay marriage. This is my predjudice showing but I was absolutely shocked. I think mainlyb ecause of the machismo involved in professional sports to have someone who's a legend in the game (basketball in case you don't know) and (it pains me to have to admit this) a Black man out saying:

"I think if they want to get married, God bless them," Barkley said.
"Gay marriage is probably 1 percent of the population, so it's not like it's
going to be an epidemic. Hey, trust me, I'm never going to kiss you and say,
'Chris, you're sexy.'"

That latter is what I believe to be a repsonse to one of the arguments against gay marriage. THere are people who somehow very seriously believe that if you let gays marry, then all of a sudden EVERYONE will become gay and thus want to get married.

Something I don't see a lot in the media coverage on the issue is the parallel between gay marriage and interracial marriage.

People seem to have forgotten that a mere 40 years ago it was illegal for a white person to marry a black person. Loving v. Virginia Back then (and today depending on who you talk to) people said the same things about interracial marriage that people are saying about gay marriage.

"It's an abomination before God."
"It's unnatural."

To quote Leon Bazile:

Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, Malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.

Substitute man/woman for race and do you hear anything familiar?

The Supreme Court ruled as follows:

Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.

/

What part of that do we not get? As a nation what part of "basic civil rights of man" is confusing? Marriage (though many people would argue this point endlessly)is not just a religious institution. Marriage has practical benefits. Important benefits.

Health Insurance
Taxes
Stability
If one partner has died.

Let's look at the latter. I'm going to put you into a situation.

You reader are let's say 45 years old and have been with the same person for 15 years. For one reason or another you've not had support from, contact with or anything to do with your immediate family in let's say almost 30 years. Sadly you have a heart attack and are incapacitated in the hospital.

Now, because you are with someone to whom you are let's say for all intents and purposes married to. Would you rather a.)have that person have the right to handle your affairs or b.) have your family swoop in to do it?

Would you rather go through this say with or without health insurance?

What if you have children and you pass away? Would you want your children taken away from your spouse and given to veritable strangers because that person is not a biological parent?

Would you want your estate snatched up by people you've had nothing to do with for a majority of your adult life?

What if, this person who is your spouse had to make the decision as to whether to continue life support or not? Would you rather it be the person with whom you've shared hearth and home with or people you've not seen have the right to make this decision?

Now think about this. In general no matter what flavor of religion you follow there are edicts that ask that you not judge your fellow humans. That you love your fellow human being. That you as a devout or not so devout (insert religion here) do not maliciously cause harm to other people.

How harmful is it that because you don't agree with something you are potentially putting futures at risk? Or keeping them from leading the happy life they are striving for? Look at yourself in the mirror, if someone walked up to you, a stranger walked up to you and said, I don't like who you seem to be and therefore you cannot do (insert thing here). How would you feel?

Here in Amerika we as Amerkans do not lack morals. What our country is not lacking is backbone. What we are lacking is empathy. What we are lacking is the balls and heart to look at each other and say, "you're different from me and I think it's weird and scary but, I will stand next to you ad fight until you can live as you like without persecution."

We as Amerikans are lacking conviction. We as Amerikans are lacking in the understanding of the phrase "We The People."

What we are lacking as Amerikans is the strength of our numbers.

What we are lacking in Amerika as Amerikans is heart.

I don't care if you're rich, poor, conservative, liberal, Communist, Socialist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, Wiccan, Black, White, Asian, Immigrant, naturalized, whatever.

I don't care if you live in the ghetto or live in the suburbs.

I don't care if you think none of this has an impact on your life.

I have heard too many people say, "well I'm not gay" or "I don't know any gay peope" that is not the fucking point. The point is that you can substitute gay for woman, or man, or Asian, or White, or Black, or Farmer, the subject can and will be replaced. You too can be demonized to the point where you are afraid to live in some places. To the point you have to drive cross country to do something as simple and wonderful as exchange wedding vows with someone you love.

You could have your children taken away.
You could be denied housing.
You could be denied everything.

Granted it's a stretch but, look around you at what Amerika is right now. Our people are halfway across the world getting killed. Our "leaders" bash and torment other nations and yet in this rich rich land we can't (or won't) educate our children. We can't/won't feed our people. We can't/won't do something to make for a healthy populous.

I say "our children" a lot. I don't have children of my own. And a lot of people I know don't either. But as I keep telling people who complain about school levies and the like, those little bastards you hate so much are going to be wiping your ass when you're old. When we are all gumming our peas they will be running rock.

Do you want politicos who can't pass 6th grade math?

No if you're a rational person you don't want under educated people running this country. So shut it and understand that yes, the state of our children does have an impact on you.

In summation, Amerikans stop fucking around. We need to stop pissing on each others shoes and start living like we're all in this shit together.

Okay I'm done.

My birthday rant.

Homo Out.

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