Sexy Sexy

In case you're new here's a news flash about your hostess. I like kinky things.

And among those kinky things I have a interest in rope bondage. I don't do it but I am interested. And that is how I stumbled on Twisted Monk. He posted a video thingy he did with super diva Midori (on whom I've had a MAD crush on for a really long time). If you are not afraid of the bosses walking in I seriously recommend watching that video.

And as a super smooth segue I want to talk about fat and kink and art.

I look at a lot of fetish art. I like hot people in shiny clothes, I like people with tattoos and piercings, I like people trussed up in ropes, I like it. Now the unfortunate thing about this hobby of mine is that, after awhile the images just start all looking the same.

Now the very common aesthetic (and I am way generalizing here) is very similar to mainstream modeling. Tall, thin. Give or take some mohawks, pierced nipples and tattoos. Now there are some exceptions to the rule naturally but, the mainstream image of beauty prevails.

Frankly at least for me it gets old.

And honestly kind of disappointing after awhile. I recall when I first discovered fetish photography and alt porn what I found were people who looked, well different. There were some saggy boobs, saggy balls, cellulite, fat rolls, wrinkles, people of differing ages and physical appearances and that is what gives me the proverbial thrill.

When I started to collect these images I was pretty disappointed that the "higher quality" magazines etc all had such similar looks I got bored.

Lately I've kind of given up.

There are exceptions-

April Flores AKA Fatty D. Who I think is fucking sexy.

But come ON now man.

I have known a lot of kinky people in my life and what gets presented in Fetish media does not represent even half of them. And that bugs me.

If you're going to do something in a counter culture or "alt" scene fucking do it. Maybe I have off expectations but really. Is diversity beyond hair color and five pounds too much?

I used to read a popular fetish gossip site and as with so many other places if someone looked to be over a size 4 there were cries of "FAT FAT OMFG MY EYEEEEZ FAT" and while I expect that I still find it disappointing.

Maybe I grew up around "alt" people who had a slightly better grasp on actually being different rather than posing as different. I don't know. But my interest is waning rapidly.

I'm still a big fan of some photographers. Namely the brain trust behind Blueblood. Forrest Black and Amelia G. I have followed their careers and work for a long time. But at this point I would probably not pay to join any of their sites anymore. Not that I don't enjoy their photography, I do but a lot of the previews etc I see just don't give me that special tingle in the crotch related area of my brain. I do get an aesthetic tingle but the crotchal thrill is gone.

That makes me a little sad.

I have such a craving for visual stimulation it's ridiculous. But what does it for me is well beyond what's popular and around.

I guess what I'm trying so painfully to get at is I want to see the real.

I had a copy of this book that I cannot for the life of me remember the title and the photography just floored me. People of different ages, not smoothed out and photoshopped to look like Barbies with tattoos in latex. Wrinkly asses, wrinkly faces. Fat. Stretchmarks. Cellulite.

And the most beautiful thing, these expressions. I remember the last photo in the book was of this couple, I don't know how old they were at the time and they were celebrating their anniversary with the lady cutting/scarring her male partner. I remember her holding this bloody scalpel, her head thrown back and mouth wide open in what I interpreted as laughter.

She had wrinkles and saggy boobs and I was stunned and awed.

That is what I like.

I want to see the people I know are out there having a good goddamn time. I want to see something human beyond the model.

My usual response when I feel like this is to want to create what I can't find for myself. Fuck everyone else I will do my own thing.

In this case though I have neither the talent nor the means to and it's frustrating as hell.

I also don't expect people to alter their aesthetic choices because I'm bored. not at all. Rather what I'd like to see is someone with some balls and talent to explore this successfully without going into the whole, ZOMFG FATTY FETISH type thing.

If the whole Fat Fetish is your thing I don't care. What I am looking for is not, "oh look fat girls is pretty too maybe" but "damn that is a beautiful photo." Period.

If you can dig someone with eleventy billion body mods shoving a giant glass dildo in their asshole while wearing assless chaps striped socks and giving the finger, is it such a stretch to maybe dig someone with a lumpy butt, some wrinkles, stretch marks and saggy balls? Is it really?

No, you don't have to get all twittery in the pants about it, but would it be SO difficult to express appreciation for another human being while reserving whatever moral judgment you may attribute to their appearance?

Yeah probably it is.

I've not got my head that far up my butt. I know the above is probably asking too much of Joe Q Public. And that too makes me sad.

So some links.

I LOVE this shot.

I also love local shutterbug Malixe. There is such a realness to his photos that I don't see in a lot of other photographers work.

A lot of photographers get so into the smoothed out dream that the idea or hint of the real person gets lost. Which I understand sometimes is the point but meh, it just doesn't do it for me.

Which is why I get a TON more enjoyment out of non slick DIY or small production company porn. Which is why I like reading sex blogs because I like to see/experience the parts of the sex that aren't slick and BAM they are naked.

I like oops's. I like it when two people are so into what they are doing they fall down.

Or someone farts, or gets the giggles. Has butt hair and real boobies.

So if you want to turn me on, get my attention or otherwise cause some reaction in the crotch area of my brain give me real.

I realize this entry is probably all over the place because my neck really fucking hurts and so does my back.

Maybe one of these days I'll actually get around to arty shots of my own dimply stretchmarked self.

So fair warning. Someday you might come along wanting to read about sparkly eyeshadow and BAM there's a titty.

It could happen.

Okay I am not excited and I'm going to take some pills and walk around a little.

Homo Out.

Stumble It!

Booty Booty Booty Rockin everywhere.

So I've been dragging my feet about watching that show How to Look Good Naked.

So last night I went to the Lifetime website and watched it. I was pleasantly surprised, glad and also a little amused in a macabre kind of way.

The macabre first. So I see the blurbs about the show which if you havne't watched it breaks down like this. Girl with low self esteem gets hot gay boyfriend for a week, make up, panties, bras, naked, tears, OH MY GOD type squeeing and then naked. What I found entirely too amusing was that buffering the first segment was an advert for some cream of some sort that promises to "give you back what you've lost". Yes, I always notice that sort of thing.

So the show itself was lovely. It reminded me very much of my first Gay Boyfriend experience, with less cursing and boob groping and more running around half naked at Lane Bryant. Very cute.

There is a way to get to the rah rah OMG I"M FUCKING HOT feeling without Lifetime or TV channels. Find yourself a titty loving gay man. I'm serious.

There is something to be said for being around someone who thinks you are the hot motherfucking sex who does not actually want to fuck you. Alternately hang out with some drag queens like Peggy Hill did on one of my favorite episodes of King of the Hill.

The fact is my fine friends, once you take the idea of being desired out of the equation for a little while I can almost promise you, it's far easier to see your own beauty and start to understand it.

Story time.

Picture wee young Shannon who is feeling like the ginormo weirdo in her circle of friends. I believe I was maybe 19-20 or so. At the time I wasn't that fat but, compared to the lovelies I hung out with I was fat like whoa. So instead of hanging out with them one day I wandered up to Capital Hill to sit and drink coffee and scribble away in one of my notebooks like the angst filled little budding poet I was.

That day (I am really amazed I remember it this clearly) I wore my favorite giant pair of jeans that were the most butter soft denim that has ever had the pleasure of rubbing against my ass, slung low on the hips with my super veggie leather punk rock pyramid belt, and a cream colored mens dress shirt with only like two buttons right in front of the boobies buttoned.

I remember it wasn't until I got off the bus downtown that I thought about what I had on and had that moment of, OH NO they are ALL STARING AT MY FAT STOMACH! I almost went right home but decided to go ahead and have my coffee.

Fortunately I was too antsy to sit and scribble so I walked up Broadway for quite a ways, until I bumped into a very gorgeous man who held me at arms length and said, "You are so gorgeous. Let's go play dress up." Seriously. After I just sort of stared at him for a minute he explained that he did drag and had an apartment FULL of fabulous clothes and he knew he had something that I would look killer in.

So arm in arm we skipped (not really that would just be TOO gay)back to his place after picking up some food and I spent all night and part of the next morning there. We played with make up and wigs. He touched my boobs, I did his hair, he poured me into this fantastic latex dress.

It was essentially How To Look Good Naked except way faster, much gayer, and no fashion tips. Just plain fun.

By the time I left I felt like I got it finally.

While I was on the Lifetime there I tried to watch another make over show where, each segment was abutted by ads for some diet thing or another. It wasn't WW but still. Love yourself the way you are, but lose weight and use this cream to look fourteen years younger. You know the drill.

So like with every other thing that claims the RAH RAH LOVE YOURSELF YEAH!-type credo there is that grain of salt. However these days instead of getting insanely pissed off as I did as a youngster now I just sort of shake my head.

Also in other news I had a very tasty Lean Cuisine meal last night. We get those on occasion when they are on sale at Grocery outlet and I was highly skeptical about it but it was tasty. Not as fancy as they imply but tasty and filling.

I also found this lovely photography via Feministing today. Verra nice.

Speaking of photography go look at Laurie's work. I really -really- love it. IN a way I can't even explain. Just go admire. Also why just there did I totally have a pang of, "Oh nooooez I'm name dropping?" Anyway just go look.

I also really need to stop dropping rice crackers into my mouth and eat some real food. I'm not in the mood for an actual meal despite the fact that I'm hungry. I want appetizers.

I think that's about it folks.

Homo Out.

Stumble It!

Silly Photos of the Day.

I've had kind of a day so you don't get content you get fotos.




I like beers. I am drinking one straight out of the freezer right now.



Tits and lips. Who doesn't like it?



Pink and white make up and less mascara than I usually wear.

Stumble It!