Now for something completely...well not different.

First I must point you all to the piece that sparked this. Head over to the Rumpus (one of my FAVORITE internets magazines) and read this.

This was written by Roxane Gay and for a minute, when I got to #4 on the list I had an OH SHIT YES moment because I have had that conversation, in fact I had it recently.

It's a variation on a conversation I've had with people my whole life.

"Oh do you know (insert name here) she's black and she's into (insert odd thing here)"

Um...no I actually don't.

There were a few people over at The Rumpus who didn't find Ms. Gay's piece funny, I found it hilarious.

Personally after 32 years of being a Black person in America, honestly at some point you just have to shake your head and laugh. And sometimes laugh quite heartily.

I will tell you something else.

Some of you, this will cause your panties to wad up a little, have patience and pull them out slowly.

Fact is I have heard this kind of unintentional, racism via ignorance type of state from Ultra Liberal type people.

As I was saying to my bestie last night, Seattle is RIPE with it.

The fact is 90% of the time I give back snarky responses to this sort of thing along the lines of Ms. Gay's piece. There is the blank look, the exaggerted patois, occasionally I will say "are you fucking serious?"

Quite often people are baffled and butthurt as to why I may not be nice when they are complimenting my amazing ability to be well spoken.

With the speaking thing my favorite answer to that ever is:

"You know they let us po' negroes read books right?"

Let me explain why these are not compliments, why Black folks do not want to hear this bullshit.

Saying these things is often indicative of the assumption that Black people (or other People of Color) don't normally do whatever it is in your estimation so, this Black person must be super fucking special and awesome.

That is a racist assumption and a racist place to come from even if you "didn't mean it that way".

I'm going to stop there for now. Let that marinate in your brain meats.

I'm also stopping there because I have run out of Educating Negress energy today.

Instead let me tells you internets, I am a little...okay really obsessed with this dress from Eshakti.

Now I would rock that with some stompy boots and stripey or colored tights.

Yes. I. Would.

I started this on Friday and completely forgot to post it because I'm um...awesome.

In other news I'm having some trouble with the essays for the book thingy I've been yammering about putting out.

I have shit tons of notes but I'm not as organized as I'd like to be.

However I have pulled a few older entries here to be gussied up and dropped into the collection. Any requests?

Thus far I've got a couple of essays about sex of course, some stuff about body image, Blackness. You know the stuff I like to talk about here. I'm having a little bit of trouble deciding what I keep to myself for an essay and what I put here.

It's such a weird thing to be thinking about since this isn't like my big publishing break or anything.

But, I really do want to give those of you who want to carry around a little of my brain the chance to. Is that weird?

To tell you the truth I am HUGELY nervous, I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure I'm giving something from a good and honest place.

But have no fear my darlings, it is happening. I've got my big girl panties and my mother fucking hard hat on. I am ready to do the damn thing.

So for at least the next little while keep your eye here for some randomness, some fatty fashion. And moar sexytimes advice. I seem to recall getting another question or two but I cannot for the life of me find them. I'm a little afraid I deleted them while I was sick and trying to do some cleanup on my database. Also, you'd think I'd have learned from the last time not to do that kind of shit while I'm sick huh?

that is such an awful habit of mine. I find it almost impossible to not be doing something whether that's writing, crocheting, hand sewing things at home.

I've heard this from other working poor folks but, it's hard not to work. I work even when it's really not in my best interest health wise to do so and being that I depend on my paycheck so goddamn much it's really hard not to do.

I am working on that though. I know that if I had rested more instead of going back to work with the quickness I probably would have felt much better much sooner.

I'm learning.

So with that I'm off like a slightly limping super hero.

Tomorrow I'm coming with some fatshions. I have been wearing some cute stuff and I wanna talk about it.

And I want to talk about some of my thrifty methods of getting ready for the cold weather and see what you folks have to say.

Also, I don't recall who it was but whomever linked me to the tartan Sugar Brand (I think) boots, I want to grab you, smoosh you and then proceed to smooch all over your face in joy I am fairly certain I am buying those and it is mother fucking win.

Okay, enough.

Homo Out.

Stumble It!

Oh such fun.

Karnythia had a post over at The Angry Black Woman today asking about catcalling in response to an article at CNN.

Ladies, ladies ladies. Not all of you, I love a lot of you but you that said this:

"Yeah, it's objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn't have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I'd think, 'Boy, I must really be getting old and dumpy,' " she said.

Um..wait what?

Ooh okay.

Ready my friends?

First of all, I find it to be a sad and disturbing thing that someone needs strange dudes to validate their youth and non-dumpiness. Bonus points for equating old and dumpy. And super extra bonus points for making old and dumpy seem like yanno the be all end all of TEH EBUL!

I don't even want to get further into that. You my fantastic readers are smart. I can almost hear the chorus of "what the shit" even now.

I will however discuss the absurdities I've faced and witnessed at the hands of men and boys who indulge themselves in catcalling.

But first a foray into my own love of you got it, cockcalling. You read that right. I have a distinct and sadistic love of making men who behave like jack asses squirm. There are many reasons including, I'm mean and well I'm mean. I look young. I also look sweet and unless you know me, you might be shocked at what comes out of my mouth sometimes.

We all know by now(if you've read me for any amount of time) that I curse enough to make a sailor blush and purse his lips.

So since I was probably 14 or so I have been known to say gross and objectifying things to random men. Usually not unprovoked, usually in response to whatever gross objectifying thing they just said. Mainly because I can.

My response to catcalling, oh my darlings it's fun. I will say some of the foulest most disgusting things with a sweet smile and a straight face. I know I've talked about it before but here are some of my favorites.

And remember, always bonus points for the dead pan stare and monotone, 2 points for the raised eyebrow and speaking in that horrible slow tone that says you're fucking stupid, and super extra bonus points if you make a scene and/or make said males friends laugh at him.

Most recently:

Picture this, I am walking as fast as my wee legs will carry me down the sidewalk towards Bartells because I am having an allergy emergency. My eyes are burning, I'm positive my expression is less than "Oh HAI DOOD" and I see a silver car swerve into the parking lot in front of me. I keep walking. Boy in car turns down his music a little and yells, "HEY BABYGIRL YOU WANT A RIDE?"

Now from the looks of him I'm probably at least a few years older than him, and really fucking annoyed. I stop dead in my tracks and turn slowly, while removing my sunglasses. He smiles and I scowl. And say loudly:

"Do I LOOK like I want a fucking ride? Are you trying to make me late for fucking work? If I miss my fucking bus because of your stupid ass I am going to key your fucking car."

Boy..*blink* he proceeds to ask me why I gotta be like that, and he was just trying to be nice. I ask him in my best monotone you're a dickhead and a moron voice, "didn't your mother ever tell you not to get into cars with strangers?" And then my very favorite:

"DO I look like I'm fucking hooking you fuck?"

He drives off, I make it into Bartells snickering and find allergy medication.

Men who catcall rarely if ever expect to be greeted by rudeness or crudity. And I take full advantage of that fact. I give the finger, I will call names. Some of my other favorite come backs include:

*insert catcall here* Guy turns to buddy and says, "Must be a dyke" I will turn and look the guy up and down say: "I am now". Smart guys catch it, the dumb ones don't.

Other favorite, guy says something. Give him a slow very slow once over all the while shaking your head slightly and muttering no under your breath.

Another favorite is the not a word blank unblinking stare. People will think you're crazy. And most people don't fuck with you if you're crazy.

My other point here is that (again, I say this all the time) if you act like an asshole don't expect a blowjob and cookies.

Furthermore, if you are a man and you expect "ladylike" behavior don't be pissed off if you don't get it.

Switching gears what is okay?

Boys you know I love you, I love the cock we know this. And because of that love I will give you some pointers when approaching a lady for what you hope is a conversation that might lead to eventual sex.

Let's say you see said pretty lady walking and she's not exactly hurrying but not walking slowly. Do not step into her path and get in her face. From a polite and respectful but within earshot and say, "Excuse me Miss Lady?" If she wants to talk to you she will acknowledge that you spoke to her. If not she will probably look at you and look away. Or shake her head or something pay attention.

If she does pause to talk to you because you're looking fly, stand not too close to her and for the love of fluffy bunnies do not touch her. Say something like,

"I'm sorry I stopped you, but I think you are beautiful."

Then shut the hell up.

If the beautiful lady is interested she will probably let you know. If she says thanks and walks away let it go.

Let's say you're in the coffee shop and you see, BAM hot lovely lady. You can say about the same thing. The theme here is boys, don't be gross. Don't be lewd unless the venue calls for it. Never say things like this (I shit you not people these are things men have said to me)

In the porn store with a friend we were buying gay porn (mmm porn) and this guy taps me on the shoulder and points to the rack of the magazine "Black Tail" and asks if I was the centerfold the previous month. At first I just shook my head and went back to my porno perusing, and had he let it go everything would have been fine. However he bugged me for twenty goddamn minutes and completely ruined my porn buying evening.

Sadly the only means of escape other than leaving which we didn't feel like doing was me sweet talking a stripper into free drink and admission coupons to the strip club upstairs. My gay was at first kind of horrified cause OMFG PUSSY, but he had fun anyway because OH HAY BOOBIES.

Another time while I was waiting for a hot butch to get off of work and take me out, I was chilling outside Westlake mall downtown, drinking some coffee and reading when this guy walks up to my table and announces his intention to do something or other with me. I decline, tell him I'm waiting for someone.

Everything would have been fine if he hadn't said, "don't tell me you're a lesbo."

And yeah, my reaction was not nice nor was it pretty. I said very loudly yes I AM a lesbian and my wife would not appreciate you speaking to me like that. Yes I was LOUD.

Then hot butchness walked up and he mistook her for a dude, said something about fuckin dykes. And she said, "Why yes I am going to fuck that dyke." We laughed, he walked away sort of drooping.

Boys, even if you have super fantastic game there are do's and don'ts to work off of. Don't touch women you don't know. Don't get in the face of a woman you don't know.

Do be goofy, be funny, be silly be hot and smooth if you wanna but just don't be a fucking douchebag. Else you may one day face the verbal wrath of a woman like me and you really don't want that do you know.

You get my point.

I have fat related stuff to talk about, shocking I know but I don't feel like it right this minute.

So go over and check out my last outfit post at Flickr. No make up and cranky for the win.

I'll probably upload some pictures of my fantastic make up later on as well.

And yeah another post later it's a brewing.

Homo Out.

Tags: amused, annoyed fat girl, sexuality, rambling

Stumble It!

HouseKeeping.

Soooo my darling readers I've been doing some housekeeping. I have added a ton of blog links to your right there, I also removed some crap, fixed up some other crap and added stumbleupon and um, digg.

Now I have to tell you how much of a geek I am. I don't use any auto coding anything. I make all changes like that by hand. I added some sparkly things. The last.fm widget, and um...yeah.

I'm also currently working on an about me page. Something a little more interesting than the blogger profile page. I am finishing that up and will upload it later.

And holy shitballs man my html/css coding skills is rusty.

I also added way down there at the bottom a banner link to my homie Sarah. She is a fantastic author (and I can admit I am a wee bit jealous of her talent/book deals), sweet lady who I like very much. For a minute, I was conflicted because her publisher is Seal Press. But, as I have told myself before. I can support the people I care about and fuck the rest of them.

So you should go to her blog and buy both of her books.

Now.

Also coming up I am putting together one of those Amazon Astore things. I know a lot of people hate Amazon and whatnot but I would like to have an area here where I can recommend things to you my friends. I kind of hate the random suggestions from Amazon affiliate links so there you have it.

I also removed the big ads there. I have never made more than (quite literally) a quarter from blogging and I'm not really looking for big money here. But as I mentioned last month I am Hustlin.

But the store is coming along nicely. I am hand picking items to feature. Not all big ticket either. I love you folks too much for that. However it is slow freaking going man. I am such a persnickety nit about it.

Anyway look for more added bits in the next few days.

Also I am ( ) that close to being done with my AromaLeigh review and it's gonna be a biggun.

Later on I swear the Homo Out story. Promise.

Homo Out.

Tags: blogs, rambling, news, links

Stumble It!

No really I do.

I have a general tendency not to identify as a feminist because, a lot of the trendy feminist reading does not speak to me at all.

As I get older I'm finding my patience for and acceptance of things that ruffle my fur the wrong way has gotten infinitely smaller. Way back when I was a young rantylicious little fucker, I had learned to sort of grind my teeth and just keep going when I heard things that made my asshole pucker.

I was of the mind then that, well I might not like it but if it helps the cause. Uh...yeah.

Quite frankly there are things that I just don't feel like arguing with anyone about anymore. Top on the list is sexuality, the actual commerce of sex as in yes *gasp* sex work.

My beliefs surrounding sex work have very little to do with "morals" and a lot to do with other things that I don't feel like talking about today. Another post I promise.

Feminism is a very good example of where my policy of keep your politics out of my fucking cunt, comes into play. Do not tell me how, who, when, or what to do with my cunt. Not you, not yer misogynist (and holy fuck can I spell that word wrong, wow) enemy none of you.

No really stay away from my crotch unless you are delivering oral sex. In that case do your thing then get the fuck out.

The following goes for everyone regardless of political stripe, Raison d'être, eye color, racial profile, position of authority. Here are the things I will not allow you to instruct me on, save me from or lecture me on.

• My pubic hair or occasionally lack thereof. I don't really give a shit what you say.
• Same goes for any other fuzz, armpit, legs, stomach where ever. None of your business.
• I reserve to the right to objectify, sexualize, and/or behave in an unbecoming manner if I motherfucking feel like it.
• Do not try and correct any mention of my cock, balls or wish to t-bag someone for being a douchebag. The logistics of such an act are not really your business unless of course you want a lesson even then you have to ask me nicely.
• I really don't care if your house smells of leather books and you're kind of a big deal, the bottom line is don't presume that your fancy degree and/or ninety mile an hour hair will sway my personal feelings. Just don't. I will smite you.

Clearly I'm a little cranky today. Mainly fueled by sciatic pain and heartburn.

I am also cranky because I took way too long putting my make up on and therefor was unable to stop for coffee or other snacky deliciousness before work.

Now more about me okay?

Okay.

Contrary to how it may or may not seem depending on your point of view, I am actually not an incredibly educated person in the traditional I have four degrees yadda yadda type way. No.

I am educated more in the sense that I read, I learn continually just not in a formal setting.

Shocking no?

Or maybe not so shocking given my frequent use of the word fuck.

However I think anyone who thinks that fuck is just a dirty word, you should watch the film "Fuck: A documentary". I love words and this is absolutely one of my favorite documentaries of all time.

What else?

I think I may force myself to do some yoga. I sleep in incredibly jacked up positions and have been really stiff and uncomfortable. As much as I don't really care for yoga it does decrease my joint pain and stiffness and I don't wake up so often with my neck and back going.. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU AND YER LITTLE PILLS TOO".

The main reason I don't like yoga that much is I get bored, there was a time I did that variant of yoga where you're in the steamy room. That was before I realized I didn't have to do exercise I hated and I remember sweating and suffering through those classes.

This is one instance where I will suffer what I don't enjoy so I can do something I want to. In this case picking belly dance up again.

I had to stop because of my sciatica and shitty knees this winter and it was really frustrating and sad for me. When I have such a passionate response to something and I can't do it I get very depressed and this has been really difficult for me.

However to make myself feel better I started reading a blog by one of my favorite dancers, Asharah check out her new blog Bellydance Paladin. Her posts are insightful and lovely to read. I also find it comforting and helpful to see that I'm not the only one who has the issues sometimes with pain and whatnot.

In other news I finally got my Torrid list cleaned out and added a shitload more stuff I'll probably post the link tomorrow so if you would like to buy me some presents you will know what I likes.

I am also having some more creative oriented greed going on. I want to make a shitload of stuff that I don't really know how to make and it makes me grumpy.

And that's all. I have a headache and need tea.

Homo out.

And thank you my darlings for the boobie compliments. :)

Stumble It!

Fat Ass Birthday and more.

So my birthday has come and gone.

It was a good one. Uniballer and I went out for a fairly impromptu birthday dinner on Saturday. (Not my actual birthday) We went To the Keg and way overspent but had some tasty tasty food. I wasn't quite sure I was ready for the level of steak they offer so I had the Creole chicken. It was highly tasty and had freaking shrimp and scallops on it. Yum.

I also had one of those foofoo drinks I normally don't like a Forbidden Fruit martini. Tasted ok but I don't care for fruity drinks usually and it was very sweet. I also got a free dessert because my birthday was Sunday and that was nice. Our server was some polite type eye candy and a good time was had. Also they way they serve a Jack and Coke is fucking WIN. You get a little carafe of not quite entirely carbonated Coke and a big heavy glass of jack and ice. You add your own Coke flavor.

That was lovely and we were going to walk home however once we started going we realized that we were both a little more tipsy than we'd thought so we took the bus instead.

Sunday. Sunday was adventuring day and I looked hella cute.

GODDAMN IT note to self- make Uniballer take outfit pictures damn it.

I wore my black Torrid capri pants, a black beater tank, my black hoody and my new black with red athletic striped knee high socks, black sneakers.

First stop was Payless shoes so I could cruise for summer shoes. And holy shit when did Payless get so fucking cool? I could have spent an assload of money. However we did not have an assload so I picked up some very soft rubbery cushioned Airwalk Mary Janes for 9 dollars. Total score.

Also I have developed an unnatural lust for some peep toe wedges. Which moves me onto our next stop Target.

I picked up some clearance ribbed tights for 3 bucks and Uniballer got me a bag of taffy because I freaking love taffy.

So yeah good birthday.

Moving on.

I had an Angry Fat Girl moment in Target.

I was pawing through a freshly put out giant stack of tops and though they were the womens sizes, there were a shitload of XS, S, M and maybe 4 total L, XL. What the fuck are they serious?

As far as fatness goes subjectively I'm on the very small end of fat. Which is something I honestly didn't realize until about two months ago. I found these stats on the intertubes for the size of the average American woman:

Women:
Height (inches): 63.8
Weight (pounds): 163
Waist circumference (inches): 36.5

I am 5'3" don't know how much I weight but my waist is about 33.5 or so depending on whether or not I've poo'd that day and how much water I've had.

Emotionally I was skeptical but the fact is no, I am not that fat. It was quite a realization for me, I was operating under an entirely different idea.

Why?

Because I have a heaping helping of BDD. Not quite enough to induce agoraphobia but enough. Happily in the last say six years or so it's not been quite so focused on my body shape, size etc. On the crap crusted flip side of that coin I focus on other things that I don't really feel like talking about right now. Suffice it to say I do a lot, a LOT of work on this and it's exhausting.

Anyway. Back to the fat. Has the fact that my eyes are newly open to the fact that I am actually pretty average changed any of my views on fat, fatness etc? No.

Do I still think that the mainstream ideas about fatness are made of fucking fail?

Why yes I do.

So there we go.

What else?

I am soon to be shorning my legs of fur for the first time since um, uh. Uh.

Wow it's been a long time. My legs aren't generally very hairy (photographic evidence later) and quite frankly I could give a shit about some fur. My leg fur is sparse and silky, I'd be more excited about it if it was fluffy but whatever.

I still do not (or super rarely) shave off my pubes. I love my pubes like you don't know. I love them in all their fluffy, bald spot having glory. I do trim on occasion if I'm having sweaty crotch annoyance but mostly I let em run wild. I am proud of my bush. I LOVE my bush.

Goddamn it the thingy I sent Vesta came back smashed and the address label nearly fucking obliterated. What the fuck is going on here?

I also still love boobies and would not be averse to touching some right now that don't belong to me. I am frankly tired of touching my own boobs.

Uh.

Yes I'm getting random. I'm itchy to go home so I can moisturize and try to cornrow my hair. So yeah I'm done.

Homo Out.

Stumble It!

Rambling Shannons never walk straight.

I have had a very nice day today. I got some sleep (CAN I GET AN AMEN?!), watched an amazing Pride fight between two incredible athletes. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (one of my favorites he's incredible) and Fedor Emelianenko. There is something that awes me about that kind of athleticism and men that big who move that fast. I watched the whole event but that fight absolutely stood out as a huge one in MMA circles.

Then I lolled around a bit. A favorite hobby picked up from felines everywhere. Then I doodled about playing with photoshop for awhile. Then Uniballer and I decided we were hungry and had intended to go to The Keg because I haven't been to one in about 15 years and he's never been. Unfortunately between the two of us we missed the bus.

So we walked to a newer place called The Elliot Bay Brewery I am not huge into beer so I wasn't really enthused about going however I am into hamburgers. I LOVE a fantastic beefy burger of goodness and the one I had was perfect. The Bleu and Bacon. Blue cheese and bacon with their special pub sauce, lettuce, tomato. Fantastic. The burger was still pink in the middle just the way I like it and their seasoned fries are actually seasoned and not just too salty.

I also stepped way out of my comfort zone and tried a little buffalo. It was beefy and tasty.

However the highlight of the night was their stout chocolate cake with home made raspberry sauce. OMFG. Mouthgasm. I needed a change of pants it was that good. If you hit that place take your appetite. Lovely servers. The lady who took our dessert order looked and sounded like Karen from Will and Grace and I wanted to bring her home and gossip with her. Seriously.

Now I am sitting deep conditioning my hair and looking gangster in the knit cap the lovely Sarah Katharine Lewis sent. This thing is SO handy just perfect size for my deep conditioning. So here fotographic evidence of my gangster-ness. And yes I look a little crazy:



Also to further screw my goth street cred I am listening to Justin Timberlake and enjoying it. It makes my bottom area wiggle.

OH also I finally found new talons for my eyes.



Not exactly what I wanted but whatever. I figure once I'm gauged up to about 10 I can get my fabulous black acrylic talons. Or maybe get spendy and buy something custom or bone.

My next piercing related mission will be to find a new labret. A much harder job because I'm super picky. I may get a fancy talon for going out but I want a new every day ring.

Okay I have had enough of Mr. Timberlake. Joan Osbone who is sex on crackers.

Also oh WOW HotRod Voodoo has some really fantastic stuff in right now. Check out some of their new socks. I am all over that. Although my fabulous wardrobe plans have to be shelved because of a refund snafu that means that money goes for bills rather than goodies.

Story of my damn life.

So that means more thrifty and less spendy but that's fine. I'm good at thrifty.

OH new blog find for those of you who enjoy teh sexy time blogs. Always Aroused Girl is a good one. I have added her feed to my eleventy other ones. I so *HEART* my google reader it's just not even funny.

Ah and a semi recent photo I did of some green eyeshadow I did on myself. Rather redid for the photo, after a very long day at work.



I was also (pre-long day at work) wearing a clinique light pink lipstick under some slightly darker pink gloss and it was teh SEXAH.

Okay I'm gonna go shower and lay down the chocolate cake is killing me here.

Homo Out.

PS..I am still figuring out how to use my digicam. Sad isn't it? It is not coming easily so my whole picture posting/taking thing is just getting delayed. I am working on it though.

Stumble It!

Pretty stuff.

Okay so some make up stuff.

I've tried out some new things lately and I'd like to share.

First up Covergirl Freshlook pressed powder in my shade called Soft Sable. First of all let me say that I tried dozens of sites and looked around locally and finding anything in that lovely shade of brown called soft sable is a fucking pain in my ass. I had to turn to Ebay. I used to used the CG original Clean Pressed Powder. In the last few months though I wanted a change.

So Freshlook it was and I'm sad to say I'm a little disappointed. Without a serious dousing of my Fyrinnae oil control loose powder top coat my skin breaks through the CG powder in a very short period of time. Also for something recommended for oily skin this shit has been breaking me out something terrible. Looks great for about the first ten minutes but I am giving it up.

Also in some areas like around my nose the texture gets cakey and weird and I have to spend a good amount of time buffing it out. Which defeats the purpose of time saving.

So back to Bare Escentuals I go.

I've also been using the Oil of Olay complete moisturizer+SPF. I have been terrified of daytime moisture+sunscreen because well HELLO super oily skin. I searched and this one is actually very nice. I got the sensitive skin formula and I'm not breaking out or oilier than usual. I am impressed.

I included this in my routine because I've started using a Miracle Peel cloth. I purchased this from Sheer Miracle. I haven't been using it long enough yet to see actual skin tone type results but I can say that after a couple of uses with just warm water after cleansing my skin is softer. I also have fewer peeling spots that regular scrubs couldn't handle.

My make up has gone on smoother and my skin has been a little less AHHHH HA SCREW YOUR MATTE PRODUCTS!

My ultimate goal here is more even skin tone and skin that looks to be in better condition. To this end I will probably in the next few weeks start using an AHA night time cream. Most likely this one from Neoteric Cosmetics ( the makers of Alpha Hydrox products). I've read very good reviews and I'm optimistic.

OH I also picked up a sample of a mineral make up face primer. I bought a sample of Happy Minerals Oil Contol Primer. I'm going to have to give that a little bit of a better test drive probably tomorrow or Monday.

Also I still am in love with my Avon lip stain. I do it's such a gorgeous color on me. However I want more colors and more lasting power. I need Henna King lip stain. This stuff looks like it packs just the kind of punch I want and that cherry red looks delicious. I have to have a stain that can withstand my multiple applications of lip gloss/balm.

Okay I think that's all. It's meds and bed time. Actually meds bath and then bed time.

Goodnight.

Homo Out.

Tags: make up, rambling,

Stumble It!

Meh...is what I say.

I don't feel good. I think I'm maybe having the startings of a cold and I am cranky about that and chock full of zinc and vitamin C.

So I'm goin to tell you all a story and like that Nas song I like I'm telling it backwards.

The story ends with me hobbling up the stairs knock knee'd with a bladder full to burst. For the record I climb six flights of stairs daily (not counting stairs at work) to get home and going upstairs with a full bladder sucks.

I had just gotten off of the bus which was almost 40 minutes late in arriving to my stop. I get off the bus and the driver thanks me for always being so calm no matter what, not making a scene and being a nice bus rider. I tell him I've been riding the bus so long that almost nothing phases me anymore and shit happens, it's not his fault. I'll see him tomorrow (which is tonight). All due to police serving a warrant on someone in SouthPark which said person probably objected to and fled.


Street closed.

Me napping away until a guy in the back yells, "FUCK I GOTTA GET HOME", I jump the man next to me jams his stuffed Barney (I SHIT YOU NOT, a stuffed Barney the dinosaur doll( in my lap, tells me to "watch him" all while I sort of blink in befuddlement because the bus is stopped in the middle of the street.

So I eventually figure out what's going on while the guy who woke me up yelling, continues to yell about how he has to go home and the bus driver better back that bitch up and go around. Driver can't do that. They get in trouble for that. SO there I am, half asleep with a stuffed Barney doll in my lap.

Closer to downtown prior to me nodding off, I was reading my book quietly and giant man sits in front of me, no problem. I see him at least 3-4 times a week. I nod in a friendly enough type manner but for something like ten minutes every minute or so he turns to look at me all weird.

I ask if there's something I can do for him, he grunts.

Downtown, strange guy listening to really loud 80's radio station on tape (yes, taped 80's radio) with a Barney stuffie sits next to me, randomly yelps odd things. I wonder if he has Tourette's or something. He sits Barney in his lap so he can see, turns him, pets him. I do not want.

I get on the bus and the driver smiles at me, asks if I got out early the night before. Apologizes for running a little late. Traffic weirdness. I don't care. I just want to sit down, try to stay warm and semi conscious until I get home.

The Beginning.

Srsly.

What else?

I just this week thrifted some fantastic clothes on Livejournal. Including the dress that (Goddess and ass willing) I will be wearing to my company Xmas party. That is one of the few times of year I have a really good excuse to dress nice and get drunk.

I also got myself some lovely LOVELY make up and I am really excited to get it. I ran out of eyeshadow primer last week so I ordered another tube of that, and a tub of Fyrinnae's oil control mineral veil powder which I am super excited about trying. And a few more samples from them.

I also wrangled (on livejournal) myself this Clinique lipgloss that I have been hunting on ebay for months without success. And a partial jar of Mac Pastorale pigment.

I've also got my eye on a cute pair of olive drab bondage pants.

I don't know if I've mentioned it previously but I handed over budgeting to Uniballer entirely. I am not super great with money and that freaks me out like you don't even know. Having him handle the finances has taken so much stress off of my shoulders.

And bonus even prior to getting a raise, I have actually had some little bits of mad money. Which I have used to fill in gaps in my wardobe, used books, make up. I am not hard to please. However I do like having enough spare coin of the realm so I can keep myself in little trinkets.

That isn't to say that when it comes to anything over 20$ I don't still freak out about it because I do.

I don't like to talk about it but yeah. It's an issue.

Um.

I feel like I need to talk about how mad at my body i am right now but I'm not entirely in the mood so maybe tomorrow.

Meanwhile I'm going to crawl back into my turtle shell, watch belly dance videos on youtube and sip ginger tea until my stomach stops doing that stupid thing it's doing.

Homo Out.

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Things I question.

I spend a lot of time cruising the interweb. For a few weeks I was very into looking for and reading street style blogs.

I found most of them to have two things in common. Mostly white people, and mostly very thing white people. Why?

I'm not angry about that just sort of annoyed really. Is it only thin white people who are deemed worthy of high street style? Annoying.

Whatever.

I am currently cruising Ebay looking for some new lipstick. I'm leaning towards a Manic Panic color. I'm very torn between Black Rose and Kiss of Death. I'm leaning towards Kiss of Death mainly because I am 90% certain I have a similar color to Black Rose made by Sinful Colors. I might just keep the shade of Kiss of Death in my head and go drugstore hunting for a duplicate. I'm almost positive I could find one cheaper.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that because I am teh broke I am working a shitload of overtime and do not get to meet a pretty girl for lady dancing. That makes me sad.

However should things go right I may have enough money next month to buy a pair of dreadfalls which I would be excited about.

And the new Otep album Ascension is really fantastic.

I think that's about all I'm out of steam for the day. Maybe more later.

Homo Out.

Tags: random, race, poop

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Babbling.

First of all my outfit and make up rules today. Mike said I look like an anime villain. I'm wearing knee high uber buckle ass stomping boots, (my boots have a few less buckles but are the last version of the boots linked) black capri pants, a black sleeveless tank thing and my black velvet hoody. And I am wearing blood red eyeshadow all over my lid and under my eye with some black on the waterline and my usual shitload of mascara. Big shiny slightly red lips.

Grr baby very grr.

Also Seattle loves a black goth girl. I had five people stop me on my way to work to tell me how cute I am.

That my friends is ego masturbation at it's finest.

I have not been feeling entirely fabulous today. Matter of fact I've been feeling ugly and weird and sad. However as I've proven to myself time and again ass kicking outfit=Beasty starts feeling better.

However I am in dire need of a hot boy/girl/whatever in booty shorts and boots to black my boots. I have got a serious jones for that like you people don't even know. I haven't had a boot blacking experience in awhile and I WANT. Mmm boot worship.

Wait what? I seriously got very distracted there for a minute.

I also have hours of ass kicking music loaded. Sevendust. Tool, The Deftones, Maxwell, Lou Reed and John Cale, Otep and Ella Fitzgerald. All on shuffle.

what else?

Note to self, mini donuts and a buttload of coffee does not a proper breakfast make. Way too much coffee cause WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE in the lightening.

Now let's talk about books. I've been reading some really great ones lately.

I just finished The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader edited by Joan Nestle. As usual when I read queer history I almost always end up with this half wistful feeling. I walk away wondering what if? And generally come up with the same answer, I'd have either have been a famous Dyke of Evil Proportions who got assassinated or lived some quiet wonderful long life with the blue collar butch of my dreams. Good things to think about either way. The really great thing about this book is there is a lot of material from people who were there. And some of it was just heartbreaking to read. But I highly suggest it. (And Cookie, seriously make room in your luggage for it, it's a chunky fuckin book.)

Last night on the bus I read The Enchanter. by Vladimir Nabokov. Now if Lolita upset you I really don't suggest reading this book. Granted the subject matter (pedophilia) is fucking horrible but, Nabokov's use of language transcends the horror and becomes just fucking sublime. He is one of the only authors I've ever read who can do that with any sort of effectiveness. His use of language is so beautiful, even though I KNOW the subject matter is fucking evil, I forget about it and get lost. And his ability to impart the main characters state of mind in twisted "burnt tongue" type ways. Sly reversals of words that ease the disorientation into your mind without being cheesy or too much of a slap in the face. ..."some black salad devouring a green rabbit." The book is just beautiful. And this particular edition was translated by his son and has a fascinating afterward also written by his son.

I'm rereading Whores and Other Feminists edited by Jill Nagle.(Amelia I am spreading the whoring again. :P) Mostly to tide myself over until I get my hands on the copy of the Janus Report that I bought here in El Jay land. I cannot wait to read that. I've been wanting to since it came out.

OH website news. I finally got my payment to actually be processing. So fingers crossed my hosting company takes their monies with swiftness because I want my fucking BLOG back.

OH holy shit I did actual writing yesterday. I'm working on stories that are both presents for friends. One for my Cookie who in return will let me ogle her luscious creamy boobs of greatness. And one for another friend who has no boobs but if I get him drunk might send me a picture of his butt.

I probably wrote about 8 pages all together which is phenomenal. And probably about 80% of the reason I feel better today. Also wrote some emo poetry that I may or may not post later.

And um Forrest and Amelia (Yes you two) why are you trying to kill me with the Batty pictures? I will probably go comment but OMFG. I really -really- love those. And why do I suddenly have a serious urge to stuff you both in my bra (there's room trust me) and kidnap you for an evening of DD's and beer?

And on a pervy note. I was listening to Devil Driver the other day and if the lead singer Dez Fafara fucks anything like he sings he is going on my list of people who need to get it from me. Right in the nono area. Probably after a good tussle.

I'm just saying.

Also I have decided that David Beckham in all his hotness (though he must be bald for this fantasy to work) is on my list of men who I'd beat the crap of then bend over and make call me Daddy. Seriously. He's hot and I don't know what it is about him but he's on that list.

Ok I'm done perving all over the place for now. And one last neato thing. My Last.FM widget. If you scrobble feel free to friend me.

Homo Out.




And fucking widget WORK or I will PEE on you.

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