Friday Musings.

First of all let me just say that I look motherfucking fantastic today.

No really, I look like the hot casual corp goth hotness. I got my pants from Woman Within. Of course I can't find a good picture. And I am too special lately to use Flickr properly or remember that I have a damn digital camera. Anyway the construction is very nice, they are very soft and just structured enough. I can complain however about the seriously high waist band.

I am short. I have a short torso and these come up damn near to my tits so I won't be tucking anytime soon. I am also wearing a black boat net ribbed long sleeve shirt that I bought from NewPort News years ago. Very cute with this cottony tissue tattered bell sleeve. Also my long Torrid sweater coat. That was probably one of the best wardrobe investments I've made in years. It's warm enough to layer in winter, but cool enough to wear as a jacket in the Spring. It is made of win.

Oh also happy first birthday to F-Word. Also congrats to Rachel who's taking the FA to the airwaves. Read all about it here.

Also I was reading over at Shapely Prose earlier and I love the question of what are you wearing. While you're over at Shapely Prose have a looksy at the BMI Project. I think things like that are extremely important because really, how many of us can look at each other and know where we fall in the whole BMI nonsense. Some of those photos really illustrate the assitude (yes I made up that word feel free to steal it) that is the whole BMI thing.

Now back to fashion. I have some old complaints that I want to complain about again.

Given my love of skirts and all things funky sock and tight related can I just say that I still find Sock Dreams sizing explanations infuriating? Seriously if I'm going to shell out 20$ for some hot ass interesting thigh high socks I would like to know if they fit non skinny legs. I think once or twice I've spotted some thicker thighs on that website but damned if I can find them now. And I am seriously in the market here. Since pants have been obtained as has a new bra next up is legwear for spring.

By contrast we have Sock Army. Granted they don't give thigh circumference measurements but look at the big picture on this page. See the difference? Their selection might not be as varied but I do really appreciate there being more than one kind of legs shown.

I also found via Sock Dreams a link to this very kick ass looking Indie Seattle Rummage/Craft sale. I just may have to check that out.

I cannot say how over the lack of diversity even among the "outsider" type fashion people.

Now for some random blog linking.

Mainstream Obscenity. Good stuff I like this one a lot. Also a little tip, if you're like me and like a variety of blogs use whatever feed reader you have. It makes life way easier. I really enjoy my google feed reader a lot.

Next up someone I absolutely adore. She's smart, talented, a sweetheart, totally nuts and absolutely gorgeous. Miss Sarah Katherine Lewis has finally gotten herself a brand spanking new website. Go love her too.

And you should be reading Big Gay Jim. The name says it all. I really enjoy his writing style and a lot of what he has to say.

I actually have something to rant about but I am in too good of a mood. So some widgets for you to play with.

First one another GoodReads widget. I am totally going to keep posting these until you all become my friends in my rampant nerdery.



And um...let's see a few more.

You can see some of the songs I really love. Listen to ones you don't know. Come on it's fun.




One more link Prunella De Ville. Loved on the name alone but very funny stuff I like it.

So that's all.

I'm spent and I need tea.

Homo Out.

Tags: fat fashion, reading, stuff., links

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Booty Booty Booty Rockin everywhere.

So I've been dragging my feet about watching that show How to Look Good Naked.

So last night I went to the Lifetime website and watched it. I was pleasantly surprised, glad and also a little amused in a macabre kind of way.

The macabre first. So I see the blurbs about the show which if you havne't watched it breaks down like this. Girl with low self esteem gets hot gay boyfriend for a week, make up, panties, bras, naked, tears, OH MY GOD type squeeing and then naked. What I found entirely too amusing was that buffering the first segment was an advert for some cream of some sort that promises to "give you back what you've lost". Yes, I always notice that sort of thing.

So the show itself was lovely. It reminded me very much of my first Gay Boyfriend experience, with less cursing and boob groping and more running around half naked at Lane Bryant. Very cute.

There is a way to get to the rah rah OMG I"M FUCKING HOT feeling without Lifetime or TV channels. Find yourself a titty loving gay man. I'm serious.

There is something to be said for being around someone who thinks you are the hot motherfucking sex who does not actually want to fuck you. Alternately hang out with some drag queens like Peggy Hill did on one of my favorite episodes of King of the Hill.

The fact is my fine friends, once you take the idea of being desired out of the equation for a little while I can almost promise you, it's far easier to see your own beauty and start to understand it.

Story time.

Picture wee young Shannon who is feeling like the ginormo weirdo in her circle of friends. I believe I was maybe 19-20 or so. At the time I wasn't that fat but, compared to the lovelies I hung out with I was fat like whoa. So instead of hanging out with them one day I wandered up to Capital Hill to sit and drink coffee and scribble away in one of my notebooks like the angst filled little budding poet I was.

That day (I am really amazed I remember it this clearly) I wore my favorite giant pair of jeans that were the most butter soft denim that has ever had the pleasure of rubbing against my ass, slung low on the hips with my super veggie leather punk rock pyramid belt, and a cream colored mens dress shirt with only like two buttons right in front of the boobies buttoned.

I remember it wasn't until I got off the bus downtown that I thought about what I had on and had that moment of, OH NO they are ALL STARING AT MY FAT STOMACH! I almost went right home but decided to go ahead and have my coffee.

Fortunately I was too antsy to sit and scribble so I walked up Broadway for quite a ways, until I bumped into a very gorgeous man who held me at arms length and said, "You are so gorgeous. Let's go play dress up." Seriously. After I just sort of stared at him for a minute he explained that he did drag and had an apartment FULL of fabulous clothes and he knew he had something that I would look killer in.

So arm in arm we skipped (not really that would just be TOO gay)back to his place after picking up some food and I spent all night and part of the next morning there. We played with make up and wigs. He touched my boobs, I did his hair, he poured me into this fantastic latex dress.

It was essentially How To Look Good Naked except way faster, much gayer, and no fashion tips. Just plain fun.

By the time I left I felt like I got it finally.

While I was on the Lifetime there I tried to watch another make over show where, each segment was abutted by ads for some diet thing or another. It wasn't WW but still. Love yourself the way you are, but lose weight and use this cream to look fourteen years younger. You know the drill.

So like with every other thing that claims the RAH RAH LOVE YOURSELF YEAH!-type credo there is that grain of salt. However these days instead of getting insanely pissed off as I did as a youngster now I just sort of shake my head.

Also in other news I had a very tasty Lean Cuisine meal last night. We get those on occasion when they are on sale at Grocery outlet and I was highly skeptical about it but it was tasty. Not as fancy as they imply but tasty and filling.

I also found this lovely photography via Feministing today. Verra nice.

Speaking of photography go look at Laurie's work. I really -really- love it. IN a way I can't even explain. Just go admire. Also why just there did I totally have a pang of, "Oh nooooez I'm name dropping?" Anyway just go look.

I also really need to stop dropping rice crackers into my mouth and eat some real food. I'm not in the mood for an actual meal despite the fact that I'm hungry. I want appetizers.

I think that's about it folks.

Homo Out.

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Quality time.

I spent some very quality time with myself over the weekend. Most of it consisted of detangling my hair then relaxing it, then using henna on it.

I found the whole thing very very soothing.

I am really enjoying getting back into what can loosely be called kitchen witchery.

Next weekend I am making some herbal infusions and a possible decoction but I haven't decided on the latter yet.

I'm also trying very hard to take better care of myself. I've adjusted the supplements I take and that seems to be helping.

A word about vitamins. I take a buttload of vitamins mainly because my diet is very erratic and I don't want to be malnourished because I've got a taste for tasty instant soups (the ones made by Thai Kitchen are the bomb diggity) for a whole week.

I also don't eat breakfast and all things considered don't eat near regularly or enough. I'm working on that.

I am really excited about this next weekend. No, I'm not going to go out and party with Leather Daddy's. I am going to make myself some Amla infused oil. Some shikakai infused oil for cleansing my hair AND most exciting I am going to try a recipe I just thought of for my face.

YEAH YEAH.

You all have no idea how much I love this sort of thing. I had no idea how much I missed mixing up my little self care concoctions until I started doing them again. I also need to start studying up on herbs and things again since the knowledge I had has mostly flown from my poor brain.

I also need to get myself a little binder for my recipes and whatnot.

Now if I had room and the ability to garden and grow my own herbs I would be in absolute heaven. However, I have what's commonly known as a black thumb. Plants hate me. I coo at them and play them Beethoven they wilt and die. I very nearly killed my Mom's garden while watering it. How? NO idea.

I have never in my life had a plant that lasted. I have killed more cacti than I should admit to. To plants, I am THE DESTROYER.

So that means I have to buy my herbs. Which is ok. I know gardening is not a gift I possesses and I am finally fine with that.

What else?

Can I talk about bellydance here for a minute?

I am still getting such a slow start because of my crappy joints and back but I have hope. I just have to take it slow.

And in conclusion I still LOVE Asharah. I wanna dance like this when I grows up.



And now homo out I have writing to do.

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The Bitch is Back...

This is going to be a long fucking entry.

First of all, my not so fantastic web host needs a good deep dicking to move whatever is jammed up it's collective ass.

I do not feel good. My body has turned into a mother fucking warzone.

My bowels got the party started with a lot of constipation/other painful ailments. Then I didn't sleep, then the big cherry on the whole shit pie is that my infidel uterus decided today, was a good day to start shedding matter.

Good news first before I dive headfirst into complaining.

I've been writing articles over at Associated Content and I would be extraordinarily happy if the four of you that read this would check it out, subscribe or even pass on my link to your homies.

I've written two articles so far. One on buying clothes on Ebay and an op ed bit about the Simulation argument.

Here is the link for the Ebay one. Pretty please I don't even care if you don't read it. I'm wanting to make some pennies on page views. So have a looksy at my fantastic profile while you're there too.


How to Buy Clothes on Ebay

Also I will probably be pimping this sort of thing at least once a week or so because that looks to be the limit of my output currently. I'm going to mix how to type articles along with the occasional op ed bit.'

Ok now I feel dirty.

Anyway.

Ok I haven't slept since Sunday and I am fucking nackered. So that's it for now.

Homo Out.

Tags: annoyed fat girl, stuff.

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What don't I feel fabulous?

The sun is shining and there's enough of a little breeze to feel really nice.

I also am wearing some hot ass pink and purple eyeshadow that looks damn good.

I'm in a mostly comfortable outfit. Jeans, double row pyramid stud belt, beater style tank top with safety pins along the top, hoody.

My hair is clean and soft.

I also just started some tasty French Press coffee.

And I am very consciously trying to feel good. Without reserve or cranky.

Granted, it's been hard going today for some reason but I'm working on it. I think most of my persistently dark mood is (as usual) financial worry. I also kind of hate that I've become that grown up.

I remember years ago when I got a job that paid 8$ an hour I thought that was serious big pimpin. Ahh to be a little irresponsible and still pay the bills. I mourn thee oh my misspent youth.

However I am trying, (no seriously) to look up.

Part of the problem is reigning in my rampant ambitions. There are SO many things I want to start doing. Most of them revolve around crafting and DIY clothing. However it will take time and patience. The latter isn't something I posses in overlarge amounts.

What do I want to do?

I want to make strange clothes. Pin up clothes, fairy princess clothes. I want to make myself purses.

I want to make fairy wings.

I want to make myself corsets.

Huge voluminous taffeta fluffy skirts that I will wear with purple chucks and a Tshirt that says, "Go Screw" or something.

What I'm doing here is making a tangible promise to myself. Call it visualizing or whatever you like. All I know is that if I keep these things right in my top brain, right where my heart can tug on them and mold them I won't just give up.

Giving up is very tempting. It's hard not to just say, "Fuck it I'm poor and don't get to have hobbies" but I'm trying.

I do have one project I can start. I can fix up my poor broken Goddess bag to use for summertime. Hrm..note to self scavenge closet for good straps.

That's all I think.

Homo Out.

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