Okay I See.

So hi y’all.

If you’ve been here for a while you know I like to keep stuff at least kind of transperent so let me tell you a few things that are going on.

In my time at XoJane  (the top one is the newest) a lot of people have come up in comments there, in my tumblr ask box etc to tell me how much they dislike what I’m doing there, my work, my face, how I wear my nails and pretty much every word I type.

That’s fine.

What is not fine is that every time I have something new published,  I wind up having to clear out dozens of these messages from my various inboxes.

So I’m probably going to shut down comments here and in other spots because frankly if you aren’t offering me money in a professional capacity I don’t have the time nor energy to deal with you.

Also let me tell the four or five folks (I’m assuming it’s more because a lot of shit incoming is anonymized) or whomever a few things.

I have said many times I use stats trackers and I know how to read them.

If you’re trying to bring me to your thread on that message board so I can see how much people there dislike my work, nah I’m good. I have no desire to interact with people who don’t like me if I’m not contractually obligated to do so.

Just like in meat space, people who say don’t like my hair of dark lipstick I’m not gonna sit around and keke with them. I honestly only give enough of a shit to be aware of what’s being said, consider some things and the rest is none of my business frankly.

While I am frequently open to critique, these things are not critique. How about a sampling of some of the shit I’ve had to clean out of my moderated comment queue tonight. First a sampling from what I posted on twitter earlier:

 

A few more gems of thoughtful critique of my work and self:

“I hope you get fired”

“You write the worst”

“You don’t deserve the attention you get”

“You are a hack and completely unprofessional. ”

Note not one of these people has actually spoken directly to me in a manner that indicates they have some critique and want a conversation.

Not one has left a name or valid email.

Some are coming in from that one forum thread (yes I’ve seen it before, yes I’m STILL that blogger y’all haven’t liked for years) I get it. I really do. A bunch of people don’t like me for a lot of reasons. As above, that’s fine.

What I don’t have to do is try to make friends or lick ass or change how I go about doing what I’ve been getting paid a little money to do.

I also need to reiterate a few other things.

I am a fat queer Black woman on the internet who has opinions about things. I have gotten death threats, rape threats, been doxxed, had people contact my various employers, try to contact my family blahblabhblah.

I have a fairly thick skin. I understand fully that my work is not for everyone and I am not to everybody’s taste.

What I don’t understand is why keep fucking with me about it? That’s what bothers me.

Why go through the trouble of searching, coming in from the forum whether you’re a member or not, finding my contact form or trying to comment with that shit in my private space?

If you hate me, hate my writing and feel passionately enough about that hate to seek out my personal spots where I talk about shit put your feelings to better use.

If you want to get me fired from XoJane there are ways to do that.

XoJane Pitch page. Pitch them a better series.

Send any and all feedback to info@xojane.com

Here is an example mail for you,

To Whom it May concern,

Regarding the article on (pick a date) I find Shannon Barber’s writing atrocious and unprofessional. It is my opinion that she should not be writing for your magazine- you can continue from there.

That is how you go about dealing with media you don’t like.

What I am opposed to is coming into my inboxes to shit on my shoes and tell me to be a fucking professional.

Fuck you.

Now let me state again very clearly. This is not about me having hurt feelings. I do but that’s not the point. It’s not about how many people dislike my work, or how they talk about my work amongst themselves.

Knock yourselves out. Go for it.

It is about bringing that into my personal life. That is malicious and I won’t say trolling it is abusive.

Here’s the thing.

I won’t be abused into silence.

If your aim is silence, be an adult and take it to someone who can do something about your problem. It is not my problem.

I am who I am.

I like who I am. I am really enjoying doing my series at Xojane specifically. I really love having people tell me that they aren’t in the specific situation that I’m talking about but that they feel good. Regardless of how much anybody hates my style, I still love that I’ve given a few people a space to talk about stuff they don’t normally discuss.

Overall, it’s all to the good.

That said, I am going to make it more difficult to get a hold of me. I apologize to those who have legitimate projects or whatever but I just don’t have the spoons to deal with so much extra shit.

I have enough of my own.

Homo Out