Fall is coming and I am getting ready for winter.
This year, I have set up a bank account where my etsy and freelance money goes. I have long had the goal of trying to move some of my self care/beauty/hair stuff off of the household budget and support it with writing.
The Uniballer (my partner for those who are new) has put zero pressure on me to do this and while not telling me I should or shouldn’t has supported my endevour.
This weekend I realized some of that goal and while I was lamenting spending some of my small savings on the other hand I felt like celebrating a milestone in my writing life.
Writing has paid for my hosting for both this blog and my official author site, some fancy new shoes, my monthly cell phone bill for the last few months, hair stuff and even this past weekend some household sundries.
I had a moment last night while I was showering where I realized how much it actually means to me.
What else is goin on?
In prep for winter and covering my hair through Spring I dyed it Black no1. Old Goth is gonna be Goth.
Here is the before, my stretched faded red hair with some serious root situation going on.
OH if my image description (I am trying really hard to be better about that) sucks please tell me how to make it better.
I picked up some Intense Black dye. I’ve found that since going natural, white folks dye and my hair just do not get along anymore so I picked up Softsheen Carson Dark and Lovely Go Intense Hair Color, Super Black from Amazon (yeah sorry affiliate link, still side hustling like hell). This dye was not quite enough, I can’t keep track of how long my hair has gotten and I should have gotten two boxes but it got the job done.
Behold my sopping wet newly Gothity Goth Goth Black. Once the color developed it is really deep blue black and gorgeous.
It could be a bit bluer but I’m not mad because i will be flat twisting my hair underneath my wigs all winter.
I also used writing dollars to pick up the best for my particular hair moisturizer even though it was expensive I had to talk myself into it.
I grabbed a jar of Oyin Handmade Whipped pudding because it is the moisturizer my hair responds the best to.
As I mentioned while I’ve been doing the Self Care series at Xojane. Here is the latest one. And have been preparing for the epic rewrite for V2.1 properly published self care book, I have been having to re-engage with myself about a lot of self care related things.
Between some of the critiques and dealing with my own ever shifting feelings about treating myself the way I advise others to treat themselves I’ve had a couple of whoa moments.
Today I’m wearing a dress that is probably four sizes too big and just doesn’t fit. It’s soft but at this point I should get a new dress. Since there is no longer a Fashion bug near my house I have a constant struggle with myself about replacing my clothing.
I started a bit, I recently picked up a few camisoles, tshirts and a skirt from Ebay and a pair of pants. The pants are kind of not what I wanted and I had a wee bit of a spiral thinking about what the 20$ (yay super clearance but boo not great pants) could have bought and how stupid it was to have two pairs of pants that fit properly.
It was a hard moment. I had to really stop myself and go back to what I talked about in the aforelinked self care article. Some days, reminding myself that yes it is okay for me to want and buy new pants is a struggle. I had to spend some time not panicking or immediately returning them for the 20$ for the possible emergency where we would need 20$.
Not that we’re dead broke right now but, that anxiety is one that I have yet to shed completely.
So I did the things. I took care of my hair, I enjoyed time with my partner and I ate some good food.
As I am getting ready to get things rolling with my publisher, and doing the XoJane thing it feels good if hard to work on this shit.
Fact is, shit is fucking hard and a constant work in progress.
Now my darlings I have writing to do. How are y’all doing?
I am really enjoying posting more photos and after I pick up a tripod there will be FASHION.
You have until about midnightish (maybe a tad later) to pick up V2.0 over at etsy. Don’t stop get it get it.